Growing up fast!

Dear Janice,

You're growing up fast! I found a picture of you still swimming in my tummy, about 2 weeks before you popped. And now, you're swimming like a little mermaid, quite fearless in the waters.

You are the biggest joy in our lives, amusing us with your funny statements and witty thoughts. You surprise us with creativity and taught us to look at things in a whole new perspective. You sometimes wake up a grouch but most days wake up like a little sunshine, beaming through your smiles and fill the house with your endless chats.

At 3.5 years old, you have not much problem expressing your thoughts and feelings, and of course your "wants". You enjoy adding and subtraction; likes doing homework [except for chinese :( ]. Your life is filled with pretend play, and you seem to have endless bouts of energy that people often asked how we kept up with you. Though you may not be the "run and climb" around sort, but besides watching and the TV, painting and during meals (you have no choice) you are constantly on a move.

Janice, you're well loved and I pray that the foundation given at home helps to build a healthy sense of security in you. Constantly surrounded by your grandparents, you lack nothing but has been given abundance (toys inclusive), so remember to always treat your love ones in gentleness and love!

You're easily excitable (like your daddy) so its always fun to plant little surprises for you because of the way you eyes lit. Even your Gong Gong and Popo hide toys, plan surprise random trips to the parks, buy Bao (Your love for Bao is another story of its own) for you after school just to see that bright eyes and hear that contagious giggle. 

When we talk about you, we are filled with pride because we are proud of you. We are filled with immense thanksgiving because you are really God's gift to us. Especially to me, you've given me strength and taught me to live each day with joy.

Love you dearly,

Mummy

At Two and a Half

Dear purple,

You've turned 2.5 yesterday. I am calling you purple because 3 weeks ago, you declared that your new name is Purple Mok because you like purple. You've later named me Pinky and daddy Blue. That's you, at 2.5, you are clear of your likes and dislikes. No matter how people try to confuse you, you will stick on to your decisions. It's good, because when we manage to come eye level with you to get you to listen, you will, and will also stick on to your decision. However, there will also be times when you are so adamant about something that nothing can change your mind. Your sense of humor is hilarious and has on many occasions sent us rolling with laughter.

The way you named us also reflected your ability to cluster similar things together and piece things together. You're also full of interesting imagination and that has been super entertaining.

It has been heaps of fun lately because of you are almost like a little grown up. We can negotiate, get you to make choices and get you to 'problem solve' and figure things out. That has greatly reduced tantrums because we are now able to negotiate within the boundaries. Most times you're predictable, and we are just so glad that we've stuck on to routines since you were born. It's helped us to also know what you need and want.

You're extremely expressive with your 1001 funny antics. You love showing your affection and your random moments of "I Love you daddy, or I like you buddy, or you're handsome/beautiful" often melt us to bits.

I think creativity is probably one of your strengths. You're quite natural when it comes to drawing and painting. You also turn nothing into something fun and funny. Like yesterday, you took a few pieces of serviettes at the cafe, and turned them into eggs and magic show. You can be emo at times (mostly in the evenings, so its most likely due to tiredness) but mostly, you're happy. You seemed to be energized after being in the midst of people, be it Sunday School, or adult company. And such social activities will lead to you singing songs to yourself, humming a melody and very chatty. It's fun to talk to you because you can now hold a decent conversation.

Of late, you've really become quite sociable, and that surprised us a little. You used to take a while to warm up to strangers. The other day, you went up to daddy's classmate and told her that you wanted watermelons! That was quite funny actually!

You've made us look good as parents, and we know we have little to boast about ourselves and we're just thankful that God has been the one leading us. We're thankful for good company we have, like your Cow Fu, Kum Mows, Gu Gu ... They've all taught us a lot about Parenting, and your cousins are also very good influences.

I hope you'll continue to grow up with that big and inquisitive heart of yours. This morning, you made a remark saying that you've not changed into your pretty dress thus not pretty yet. We assured you that no matter what you wear externally, you're beautiful. God reminded me on my 5th week of pregnancy, when I was in doubt of whether I have lost you, that you are beautifully and wonderfully made. Today, I know its true and it will forever be.

I love you precious, and I pray I will never be afraid to lead you in Godly ways, and love you in His ways.

Love, Pinky

Finally some updates ...

I haven’t updated our blog for ages, I’ve been very busy and most days, I’m left with little or no energy to blog. And when things accumulate, you sort of don’t know where to start. This morning, I thought I better do something about it, before I forget what happened in the past months.

March

We started church at COGS after much prayer and thoughts. They needed a youth worker and asked if Kel could go over. We decided with the move and after some transitions, moved over to COGS. We’re still adjusting and figuring out our new “home”. Kel also started his very intensive 9 month Inductive Bible Study class under School of Biblical Studies (SBS), YWAM. It is super intensive and ever since he started, he has been staying up till 3 am to do his work. It’s crazy, but God is really doing something new in his heart. So we (especially Kel) are excited of what is to come. He is soaked in the Word every day, and it’s scary sometimes because I feel that I am not catching up. But I guess it reflects how much I need to be in His presence and digging the Word more, and it’s a wake up call for me to pull my socks up. But I can tell, despite the lack of sleep and the stress, he is really enjoying this season.

We went for our first ever family holiday (my side) since I was 5. This time round, it was with all our other halves, and kids. So it was a troupe of 11 and we finally put our act together and booked ourselves tickets to Perth (since the budget air tickets were cheap). It was such a GOOOOD time. It was a combination of fun, and very relaxing. We stayed the bulk at Margaret River. The 3 kids played, ate and slept together. The house was gorgeous and we had kangaroos on our backyard! Not just 1 or 2, but a whole big group (what’s the collective term for kangaroos? Herd?) Every single day. We had BBQ, seafood, lots of steak, lamb, salads. So good. Did I say that I miss Australia? After a year back in Singapore, we think we can still call Australia Home! The space and the nice grass, the yummy olive dips, pasta … ok, I think I’ll need a separate post for that. I will try to upload some pictures.

3 days after we came back, on the 22^nd March, we received a call that my grandmother in Malaysia passed away. We packed our bags and travelled 7 hours to dad’s hometown for the funeral and the wake. Though it was a sudden lost, we knew she’s lived to a ripe old age of 90. It was also one of the rare times when we actually met up with cousins and distant relatives that we haven’t seen for ages, some for more than 20 years. It was a massive reunion, and I know Ah Ma had left quite a legacy. It was funny, because I said that we haven’t spent time together for a long time and we ended up spending 2 whole weeks together.

So in summary, March was a month I discovered more about my family, and I didn’t know that spending time with siblings could be so much fun.

April

Kel is still very busy with SBS. He is trying hard to still spend quality time with us, and has been doing well. Though I think he can do with more sleep. As for my work front, it’s been very stressful and tiring. March was in and out for me due to the traveling and unforeseen circumstances. I was heading up the fundraising dinner team and after the major event last week; I am still experiencing much after shocks and sleep depravity. I think a lot is going on in my head, home front, work, personal … and I need the space to process. The weeks leading up to the event (since March), I have also been staying up very late every night. I don’t do well with lack of sleep, so I’ve been grinding and clenching jaws, and easily irritable. All these are not very good signs.

Janice

She deserves a section! Janice has been a great traveler. With the recent 7 hrs trip up to Perak, Malaysia, we actually survived without turning on the DVD player! It’s a real feat J She has also been a lot stronger physically. But it takes quite a bit of efforts to make sure she eats healthily (at least 3 kinds of vegetables + protein for her dinners), supplementing with Chinese herbal soup. We’ve adjusted our schedules slightly, to head off to work earlier in the morning, and finishing earlier to come home (5 plus) so that it’s not so rush to cook, and we can spend more time with her, and putting her to bed before 9pm. Sometimes I wake up in the morning at 6ish to prepare parts of the dinner. This arrangement has worked out very well, and we are likely to stick to this. After the Australia trip, she’s grown so much in maturity and understanding. It’s amazing. We’re really enjoying this season. I hope I can update more about Janice soon. She’s turning 2.5 years end of this month. She sings, chat, and make up conversations and stories for hours. She’s full of energy, expressive and affectionate.

About the Dad ...

One of the highlights working for Focus on the Family was to witness very touching moments. We had a Date with Dad over the weekend and it was so heart warming to see fathers and daughters catching up, tearing over conversations, writing letters to affirm each other and ending with a pledge from the father to the daughter before presenting the daughter with the “Worth the Wait” ring. I believe it was a very defining moment. Fathers are often not fantastic with words while on the other hand, daugthers will like to hold the perception that their fathers do not understand them.

I guess I come from a point of view of someone who stands between the X and Y generation. I see many old ways that need to be changed for the better yet still living in the nagging norms of a slightly more traditional upbringing. I grew up with the understanding that dads provide the bread. There is no need to really spend time with the wife or kids. Home on the other hand is for the moms to run. I knew my dad as a responsible man, and have vague memories of a couple of occasions of his soft hands of affirmation. It was sometime of recent that I began to understand the impact of my lack of father daughter relationship and some negative consequences from that. By the way, I do not hold any grudges against my dad, but one thing I recognised is that the daughters yearning heart for the dad’s approval is real even till this day. I am learning to translate my own experience to hopefully parent my daugther (and hopefully children to come) better, whilst reallly seeking God for His infinite wisdom. To qualify, I do not think that I grew up under “bad” parenting, and there are so much wisdom I could get from the way my parents brought me up, and that deserves other entries on.

I am super blessed to have a husband who believes and is willing to sow into the daughter’s life. In the times I struggle to release him to the marketplace(or rather his place of work) and make his mark (while yearning for him to spend more time to see the actual growth of our little one) he assures me that he chose his path today because he wanted to be part of the everyday life of the family. I bear the genes of a sinful carnal man, and I struggle every now and then when my mom would nag at me for us (the husband and I) to find better paying jobs etc. and often I found it hard not to entertain the enticing thought of being part of the bigger rat race of striving for MORE. To date, I am still in the process of being moulded by God, to stand secure at His call and provision. And to shout out that I will not be in lack, not physically, not in wisdom (especially in parenting), not emotionally (He can fill me with joy and great satisfaction in life)

Since love is also in the air today, being Valentine’s Day, I ought to do something that I seldom do. To affirm my dear husband as a father and a lover. I think I have wasted countless golden opportunities to critisize instead of affirm. The kitchen not cleaned, clothes not washed, what? You forgot to wash the vegetables before you cooked for janice?? Etc etc. On many occasions, it may have seemed that I still trust my earthly dad more than my very own husband’s judgment calls, I know I have come a long way to learn to acknowledge and trust the man of my household.

Someone told me, that its hard to be fathers of this generation. They have so many different hats to wear and honestly multi-tasking is not their flair. But I salute to you my dear husband, for the times you've sacrificed yourself for us. For how you hung on and lead me in the way that you think God is calling us to. To affirm me when I am lost and confused. For waking up for the little one. For being very generous with your hugs to her (and me). For bring us out (individually) on dates. For teaching me to see beyond material things. For never insisting which should be a “mothers’ role” and not the dad’s role, besides breast feeding, you attempt everything. For the many things you think you have done a lousy job, but I would like to tell you that you’ve got yourself in the right foot, so hang in there. I can’t wait for you to bring the little princess out for a real real date, but meanwhile, you’re doing great. And watching (hearing) you guys depart on your bicycle for a ride warms me up and never fail to make me smile.

Happy Valentines’ Day my dear.

p.s. Janice, I hope you'll read this when you grow up and that you'll always know of your father's love, both your earthly and spiritual dads.

Looking at these happy pumpkins makes me happy too!!

Janice @ 27 Months

{long post ahead *BEWARE}

I was amazed this morning that I have to document this conversation down:

I was doing the dishes in the kitchen when I realised that there was a cup that was still in my handbag that needed to be washed. I called out to you (Janice) a couple of times. You were watching TV then, and I could only see a little part of your head seated somewhere in front of the sofa.

Me: Janice, Janice, I need a favor from you.

Janice: Huh?

Me: Can you go to mummy's bag and find me the purple cup please.

Janice: [stood up and started looking around]

Me: My bag's near the sofa, darling.

Janice: [found my bag and started rummaging through it] Where mummy?

Me: Bring my bag here, I will tell you where to find it.

Janice: [dragged my bag into the kitchen]

Me: It's in the bag, can you see it?

Janice: Oh yes!! Here mummy ... [took out the cup and handed to my soapy hands]

Me: Thanks Darling, you're so helpful. Can you put the bag to where it was just now?

Janice: Yes! [Picked the bag up from the floor and went back to where it was. Left the bag there and sat back to her original position in front of the TV]

Me: Thanks baby! [I shouted from the kitchen]

Janice: [Mutters]

I can't believe that my baby's really not a baby anymore!

It was then I realized I really haven't been documenting for a long time. It has been an incredible journey with you, little pumpkin. I am loving having small conversations with you, and there are just so much to talk about, that I don't know where to start. So I will try to be systematic here:

Physical:

Weight: 12.5kg

Height: 86cm

I know the details so well because you've been going to the doctors so often. Over this whole year, you've fallen quite sick a number of times with scary high temperatures. It's really making me re-think about your childcare arrangements and how best daddy and I can adjust our lives. We are still in the praying and considering process. There are people we need to talk to and discuss, so hold on little pumpkin :)

Motor skills:

You are not as "chiong" as I thought you would be. Though you were really active in my womb, you turned out to be a pretty cautious person, calculative at taking risk. So besides jumping on the sofa, you are pretty mild, and hardly run around when we are out. [Thank God!]

Social:

Rather shy initially, but you have really warmed up with some of the people that mummy and daddy often hang out with. You favorite people in the world (besides us!) are your grandparents, your GUGU, cousins, and CowFus Cum Mow, Godma and Uncle Jasper, and the auntie, uncles in our Wednesday cell. You've also been naming all your friends in school and our nightly routine of praying for people has to include your friends. We pray that you will be a blessing, and tell people about the goodness of God.

Language:

You understand both mandarin and english pretty well, though you answer mostly in english. We can now hold small conversations, which is great. You have been able to express quite to us and have been singing songs unaided, including Chinese songs (I'm impressed).

Sleeping:

Yay, we are happy to have you fully sleep trained on 1st Jan. We used to need to stay in the room till you fall asleep, but nowadays, we just have to spend about 10-15 mins with you in the room, pray, turn off the lights and kiss you good night. We discovered, you actually like to sleep in (Can you tell how secretly happy I am? *Grinz - it means I get to sleep in on Saturdays too) Woo Hoo! You've been excellent, and we aren't the only ones who can get you to bed this way, whoever's looking after does the same, take you to the room, talk to you and kiss you good night and leave. Thank God!

Favorite Activities:

Drawing, doodling, painting, drawing dots and circles (arrgh sometimes very frustrating because the ink goes so fast!) and playing with your doll house.

Discipline:

You're quite stuck to a routine, which is really good and predictable. When you do act up, going to a corner usually works. Our last warning will be a smack on your hand with the wooden spoon. We're glad that we hardly have to resort to that. You do push your boundaries, but I guess its a good sign that you are growing in your independence, and we pray daily for wisdom to know how to release you and pull you back accordingly.

Others:

Elephant memory is what you've got sometimes :)

Nuff said. You've been a great kiddo. Spending time with you has been the most rewarding thing ever. Its my daily prayer that I can channel my concerns and anxiety in parenting to God, and learn to trust Him for your well being. I thank God everyday for you, little pumpkin.

Love Mummy.

Determined

I guess I knew all along that my daughter is a fighter. Since a week old, she endured catheter insertion and many needles pricking. Her cries, you know mean business. Either “mom you better strip off and start feeding me NOW”, or “I need my diapers changed!”

So over the weekend, I had an opportunity to witness Janice’s fighting spirit, in an environment unfamiliar to her. We brought her to the Marina Sq indoor playground. She went to the top to get her turn on the slide to find an over aged boy sitting there blocking the slide, bossing people around. She stood there and said “ehhhcu Meee (excuse me)” a couple of times to this boy more than 5 times her size. In a matter of seconds came flooded with many more children in all shapes and sizes, all bigger than she is. They crowded IN FRONT of her trying to make their way to the entrance of the slide. The little girl was so frustrated at these kids oblivious of what queuing up means. She start scratching her head vigorously, and let out this shout “arrrgggghhhhh”. Not whinging, no tears but a loud roar like shout. Even I was taken a back, so being the softie I tried to coax her to jump off the structure and come with me, she turned and looked at me “NO, the slide!” she found daddy’s hand reaching out to her in a distance, grabbed his hand and yanked herself forward past at least 4-5 kids, plonked herself on the slide and came down, satisfied.

She has decided she wanted to go on the slide. Determined she was, no one could stop her. Daddy was so proud of her.

Just a funny little post

Very focused in applying her moisturizer sparingly

Thrilled! I've got moisturizer!

I have a little girl who goes through very peculiar phases.

It’s the moisturizer phase now. She will request for moisturizer, and we would have to squirt some on to both her palms.

In which, she will hold it up in highest honor and NO ONE must touch or take that away from her. You can suggest gently for her to apply it on her face, she will sometimes take heed and dot some on, but very very sparingly. She will say “I want a bit more please” and beg you to squirt some more. She will continue on with life for the next 45 mins with her hands held up like a worshipful way. Very ginger in taking her steps, afraid her precious moisturizer would be smeared some where. Even to nap, she would ask for help so that you can place her nicely on the pillow, while her hands still held up high. My mom even took pity on her and placed 2 bolsters under her arms so that they are supported. Just like Aaron and Hur. She asks for her moisturizer 1^st thing when she wakes up, and gave a pleased smile when explained that the moisturizer hasn’t disappeared but absorbed into her, now very moisturized skin (except that it’s only very moisturized on her palms)

This little girl, is my dear daughter, Janice. And Janice, mom’s writing this so that 20 years later, you can laugh with us, your peculiarity and not be appalled by your kids in future because of their strange behaviors. I am sure I was only half as strange as you, but you know such things always evolve quite a bit J

Nevertheless, you were still duper cute.

2 years less 2 months

Writing about you darling is one of the things that is keeping this blog alive at the moment. Our recent weeks have been completely filled with visits from friends, getting ready for our new place, church ministry and basically living like a nomad shuttling between 2 residences. But I am really looking forward to move to our own place pretty soon and provide you with a little more stability. I must say you have been extremely good these days, very happy to be home, happy to be staying over at “popo’s” place, happy to be out. There will be instances when you spent the entire day out and would request that you want to go back to popo’s place. Very cute J Well at least I know that perhaps you won’t be the “cheong cheong” sort la and would know when to come home, to know that home will always be your refuge, a place where you can unload your burdens and know that you will always be accepted. We love you so much baby.

Your recent developments:

You take great ownership in your possessions and would make sure we guard all our items. Dad’s bag needs to be held by dad, mom’s drink only drank by mom, in a particular cup etc. I think it’s a passing phase, sometimes its funny but sometimes I pull my hair J one interesting to note is that you observe the tiniest details, yah, down to that extra rim around the cup

You express yourself quite well. Though you don’t speak a thousand words, but you somehow manage the one or two couple with some sentences, pointing and nodding

You still love to say “I don’t want”

You love the time before bedtime as long as you get both mom and dad (You also make sure that there’re no other “intruders”)

You eat very well after a nap, all by yourself. So well that even food court aunties gather around to ask how old you are. Very strange, because it looked a little like “feeding time” minus the photo-taking.

Janice, you’ve become one very affection little girl that many look forward to spend time with you. The way you beam to your “cow fool: (uncle) and your eagerness to be with your little friends and cousins is endearing. My prayer to God is for His wisdom to guide you through your strengths and weaknesses, so that you can have the full freedom to be who you are and the person God has called you to be.

It’s always refreshing to see you daily, in this age where there’s no pretence. Your child-likeness that allows you to trust those whom you know love you dearly. You wide eyed wonder in your expression that tells me things in life intrigues you daily.

I love you my little pumpkin. Happy 22 months!

Love Momma

21 Months

My dearest Chuppachupps,

I am terribly late at this post since you turned 21 months a week ago. 3 more months you will turn 2! Another milestone for you and another reason for us to celebrate God’s gift to us – You!

You celebrated the day you turned 21 months with your very very good friend, Alicia. It was so much fun for us to watch both of you shopping and communicating in your own ways. You definitely had heaps more fun playing with her this time round as compared to 8 months ago and it just shows how much you have grown!

This month, you’ve started stringing words into clearer sentences. Mostly to express what you want or not want. Like “I want noodles, I want mama and daddy” and “I don’t want” It’s been funny hearing you count too, because instead of 1,2, 3 … or sometimes accidentally skipping some numbers in the past, you’ve started counting like this: pointing up to the starts you started “twooo, fourrr, shix, eight, TEN”

You shocked both daddy and me one day when you actually remembered a shop when you’ve beePublish Postn in it once. You remembered that the shop is 2 levels (though you can’t see the stairs at the doorway) because the moment you entered in, you said “upstairs” and “chey chey” because you remembered going to the shop with Alicia and you two had great fun shopping and trying on bags in the shop.

You are also very assertive in expressing your desires, something that both daddy and me are trying to discipline ourselves to be consistent in teaching you good attitudes and control. Sometimes we get lazy and give in to you.

You’ve been a real fun companion especially when we go out together over the weekends. Your cheekiness and funny personality cracks us up all the time. You’ve been a lot more independent by eating your meals yourself when you’re out (we still have to supervise you since you’d often end up playing with your food) but you generally very good.

You fell quite sick this month, worst case of fever you ever had but we pray that all these will only make you stronger. Your ability to stay cheerful and happy through the time you were having fever really made us

Thank God for making you such a tough little one. We were definitely less stressed because of your cheerful deposition.

You’ve also grown to like prayer. Each time we pray, you will put down everything (or make us hold whatever items that were originally in your hands) so that you have clasp them together and bow your head. We pray that you will be a prayer warrior, and to find rest, purpose and satisfaction in His presence through prayer.

I love you little pumpkin,

Mummy

The "NUGGET" of truth

The truth is this: I think Janice has more of Kel's genes than mine. The nugget on Sunday spoke it all. See right, I was pretty flat out over the weekend, so I presented Janice with a plate of Ikea nuggets and chips for dinner. She "wowed" and went on to give the biggest grin after a bite on the nugget. What a contrast to her scrunched up face when she tasted my carrot and celery juice!

The 20 months old chuppachupps

Yes you are the little chuppachupps because you're such a sweetie my darling. You turned 20 months yesterday and the past few months, you've really learnt to shower both daddy and I with your sweetness.
You're full of kisses and cuddles; Each day when I return back from work, your sparkles makes me feel like the luckiest mom around. One endearing thing this month is that you've learnt to shout for daddy at night instead of just crying out for me. You still do, but most times, you call out with such want for daddy that made him ever ready to go to you when you do cry at night. I get my sleep this way and daddy really got his love tank filled up! :)
One quality I've noticed is your keen ability to observe. Be it observe the emotional climate of people around or observe before you make you move to befriend others. Also you're able to observe before you pick up a toy or puzzle so you get a hang of it pretty quickly.
Lately the naugthy corner has been introduced in a more consistent way. Though you've tried to pushed you boundaries, naughty corner has been an effective way to help you learn to listen to instructions.
Each day is passing by too quickly and I miss you when I am at work too. I wonder many times if I am doing enough for you, but watching you grow in independence both emotionally and physically brings joy to me.
I love you darling, and I pray for God to be more real to you each and everyday.

19 months

Hey Baby,

You've turned 19 months more than a week ago. You've got to slow down because I am barely catching up!

I was back late last night and you waited for. As I was putting you to bed, you wanted to be cradled like a baby, just the way I used to cradle you when you were a little baby, only with your legs dangling out, and you weigh a tonne more! As I as cradling you, you were so happy that you kept giggling infectiously. I couldn't help it but to join in (though I was trying to keep a straight face so that you'd go to bed), and both of us giggled to our hearts' content, till you slowly drifted off to dreamland - almost, till you shuffled yourself back to your own bed and dozed off. It was such a priceless moment, to cradle you ... I remembered those experienced mummie telling me when you were young and I was only a "novice", to cherish your baby moments. In my sleep depravity, tired arms, unfinished housework, I could only manage a slight smile thinking they must have forgotten how it felt like to be caring for a young baby. But they are right, i needed to cherish more because you're growing up way too quickly now (such a cliche, I know) but I was right too, they have forgotten how hard, because I can't quite remember it now too.

I ought to cherish now, that you still enjoy me smothering over you, cradling you. Now you still look to me like I am a perfect angel (right, except the times when I was disciplining you). I Pray that I will not miss this window, to build this bond with you, that years down the road even when you're married with kids, you can still come back to my embrace where we can still giggle to our hearts' content.

Love,

Mummy

18 Months old Janice

Dear Janice,

This is you, taken in Hong Kong a couple of days after you've turned 18 months. Each time I find clothes that you've outgrown, I just can't help feeling nostalgic. It seems like yesterday, but yet memories of your little'ness seem some what vague too. There has been just so much to absorb since the day you came into our life, and everyday and the talking point at the end of each day has always been what you've learnt/grown that very day.

Though there has been so much changes and so many phases in just this short 18 months, there are many things that hasn't changed.

Stuffs like how much I love the smell of you hair, how I love to smother you with kisses and hugs, how you melt my heart each time you break into lovely smiles, how I love to fiddle and hold you little fingers.

I wonder when I will live beyond the Parenting 101. I thank God each day that you're still thriving and often wonder why God would entrust someone so precious into our hands. How to discipline, how to love, how to nurture, what to do, what to feed, what to say? such questions are almost perpetual. 18 months, I've loved, smothered, encouraged, praised, scolded, threathened, yelled at you. I've felt guilty, overwhelmed, frustrated and angry. But above all, I've felt blessed, sometimes so overwhelmed (in a good way) that I can almost melt into a blob of jelly, and very privilege to have this opportunity to be called a mom.

Thank you love, the way you've grown each day reminds me daily that God is faithful and always at work. When dusk fall and when all is silent and peaceful, I would hear a small still voice saying "I'm in control".

This 18 months have been an amazing journey.Look at you! How much you've grown!

I love you precious, May you continue to have this larger than life attitude and pursue God to the fullest.

Love, Mummy

The sleep regression.

I am just needing a place to rant about this. Maybe after a couple of minutes of ranting I will feel much better and my sleep depravity will be compensated a little. I hope.

There's a real regression taking place now. I remember very vaguely (our wonderful memory is pretty much selective) the early days when Janice was born. The sleepless nights, the insecurity of not knowing if tonight is the "night" when there will be endless feeding (and worshipping God in desperation). God was good, that period of time came and passed pretty quickly on hind sight. It always feels this way, when you're at it, it's eternity. But really, I think we would consider ourselves pretty fortunate parents because Janice learnt to fall asleep on her own at 7pm and will sleep through about 6 hours straight since she was 2 months old. God knew how much we could take, so there was even minimal sleep training involved, it just happened.

Sleep is a precious commodity which we still try as much as we can to guard it, and make sure it happens for both the baby and us. So we have simple routines, that as she grew older, which increasing understanding and mobility, been more flexible than when she was a wailing baby. Janice is good, as long as she is occupied, even if she was tired, she doesn't get too cranky in the evening and eventually when she was tired she would just sleep, no fuss or much of the so called over stimulation.

For the past few months since we came back, she has been happy going to bed when she's tired, only thing is that bedtime has been "post-poned" every night to about 10pm (+/-). That's also because of work and traveling, so by the time we get back home every night, it's about 9pm. Things have still worked out well because Janice would still be able to sleep well at night, only thing is that we have allowed her the freedom to sleep on the mattress, not the cot.

So what's the problem with that? It's dusty and hard to clean the room. And I have also become the bolster at night if she were to wake up in the middle of the night. I've sort of let it pass for that, since, she has been really easy if she wakes up at night, all I have to do is to sleep on the mattress next to hers, and she has some parts of her body touching mine, we both get our beauty sleep for the rest of the night. But with both issues combined up, I decided finally to put my feet down and set up the cleaned up dusty cot, painstakingly shipped back from Brisbane. This time round, instead of putting up all four sides of the cot, we removed 2 sides, so it's more like a bed and put up a bed guard to prevent the rolling girl from falling off the bed.

Sounds like not a big deal, but to a little girl, changing sleeping arrangements is a big deal. So she has been asking me to climb into cot with her in the middle of the night and crying out every few minutes, or stirring and sitting up every few minutes through the rest of the night, after sleeping well for about 4 hours. That's not good news for me, because I don't sleep at the same time as her, and when she starts her crying, I will be about 30mins into my deep sleep, and I will be an owl for the next 5 hours. Super taxing, and I am now officially sleep deprived again after 3 nights of struggle.

So if you're reading this, maybe you're thinking, I should have stuck on to the cot thing since a long time ago, and never have allowed the habit of going in to sleep with her to set in. haha, you may have the permission to laugh at me for a few seconds, but after that, my appeal is, pray for Janice that she will settle in.

Thank you :) I feel better now.

God is healing Janice from her milk allergies

God is awesome and worthy to be praised! After praying for a long time for Janice's allergies to be gone, God has finally answered our prayers!

On 23rd Nov 2009, Janice took her skin prick test to check for allergic reactions from certain substances. The test results were as such:

Substance Diameter

Control Histamine = 5mm

Milk = 5mm

Egg = 15mm

Peanut = 7mm

These results showed that Janice had significant reactions to milk, peanuts and eggs. The larger the diameter, the more serious the allergy.

Since we have relocated back to Singapore we were still praying hard that God would heal her of her allergies. Her condition had certain implications such as being selective when preparing meals for her, being careful of what we feel her and what others 'unknowingly' feed her, what she can consume at Child Care and also her specially prescribed milk 'Neocate' which would cost us $70 per can here in Singapore.

As we prayed, we wanted to also believe that God's healing hand is at work. Thus Yen made an appointment with the allergist at NUH whom was a doctor referred to us from our allergist in Gold Coast. When we were at NUH, the doctor saw the report of Janice's last skin prick test said that there is no point in taking another test as such conditions don't 'change overnight'. After hearing that, we were quite insistent on having the test, cause we know full well that God is able to heal.

When the test results came out, Janice's skin reaction towards milk was almost non existent!!! The diameter for milk was smaller than the control histamine! This must be GOD! So the Doctor advised us to slowly expose Janice to normal baby milk and see if there is any allergic reaction. We took the Doc's advice and start by putting some milk on her lips. To date, Janice has been feeling great. she even drank 60ml of normal baby milk!! PRAISE THE LORD!!

The little 17 Months' babe

Dear Janice,

You're 17 months today and you're so girly that you're more like a little girl than a toddler. I remembered secretly being very happy to have a little girl as my first born, I thought about how I will dress you up and do girly things with you. Look at you, your love for shoes, accessories and anything that's pretty. I hope that you will think of me next time as your cool shopping partner (daddy will say partners in crime) just like how I love shopping with Popo.

I remembered 17 months ago, I was really struggling through motherhood. Each day was just for surviving, how to get us through the day and flash daddy a big smile when he comes back. Many times, he will receive a scowl from mummy and he will then take you down for a walk so that I can get myself together again. But as you grow, I realised that each day has gotten less intense and more enjoyable.

This month, you've transited into taking one long 2 over hr nap a day. You generally sleep quite well at night although there are times when you still want to cuddle mummy's arm to sleep. You're funny, you just need to hold my fingers and you'll be contented. You've also learnt to recognise actions and characters in books, so reading is so fun nowadays because you'll know what's coming up and start the actions or say what it is. You also have your favourites that you'd want us to read over and over again.

There are still times when you're quite reserved when you're out. When placed you at home or at Popo's place, you'll be filling us with your cheeky things and make us laugh. Giggles and laughters from you are also not uncommon. I used to lug you out a lot when you were younger, but now staying around home with you is so fun and I have to sometimes kick my laziness away and do more fun activities with you like drawing and painting, which we haven't done for a while. Usually you're quite independent when you play and can engage in puzzles, cooking and moving items from one location to the other and back. You do these a lot.

I think Mummy and daddy must have passed you some good genes. Haha that's our love for food genes. You have great appetite and on most days your bowl of rice is as much as almost 1 full rice bowl. Not counting the big bowl of green veggies that we have to hide from you. I remembered eating a lot of spinach when I was pregnant with you and now you eat it as if it was snack. Very good, keep it up ok. Veggies are good for you. and on top of that you still drink a bowl of soup after that. You're putting on weight quite slowly so I am wondering if all the nutrients have gone to your hair. But on the other hand, at 10.8kg, my arms are aching already, I can't imagine you any bigger. Now mummy just looks like I do weights training because the thickness of my arms and the Biceps are getting a little too obvious.

You're growing up so fast, and there's almost too little time to spend with you. I can sit back at the end of the day reminiscing on a lot, but most times I am flat out and doze off too quickly. But if I could, I would want to capture more of you, this journey and our family in my reflections and deep thanksgiving. God is just so good.

Happy 17 months! You're turning 1/1/2 in a month's time. Look in the mirror and may you always find joy and the reflection of Jesus!

Love, Mummy

The little grown up girl

Oh, I also need to write this down before I start to forget.

Janice has been such a cutie lately. It feels like overnight that she has transformed from a little baby to a total little girl. Where has all the time gone to? She is so into her make belief. She's been cooking, scooping, feeding herself, us ... she pretends to eat, make us to that and even says "more" as she pretends to eat out of an empty bowl. She reaches for the plastic knife and pretends to cut her cookie before eating and make us drink her imaginary soup, in which she will pretend to "ssssh" as if it was really hot. I wonder where her foodie genes come from?

She is growing up, and I can't believe that I spent an hour playing "masak masak" with her. She was even happy doing it herself when Kel and I were hustling around doing our own stuffs for the afternoon.

She's even been fixing up puzzles by herself and recognising shapes. Felt like yesterday that she was a little baby.

Janice is 16 months (+)

My little munchkin, You're really less of a baby and more like a little girl now. You're expressive, full of cheeky things, and very playful. You often tickle us with your chuckles, your little dances, and playful acts. You warm us with your smiles, cuddles and kisses. My life have been tipped upside down since you came into my life 25 months (including pregnancy) ago. I remembered how elated i was on 17th Feb 08, the day I found out that we were expecting you. Since then it has been a big roller coaster ride for daddy and myself. We had our highs, how lows and excitments, but all in all, we're glad that you're in the picture. Though we're not money rich, we know we're rich because of the experiences we have with you and in God too.
You're a really expressive little girl. Very authoritative I must say :) Though you're limited in your speech, you somehow managed to direct people to sit where they should, what you want to eat/drink and what you want others to do for you. You're into this mode of making sure daddy drinks enough water and choosing who gets to sit next to you. You communicate mostly to us with single words or part of a word (e.g. Ter for water) and many many sign lanuguages which were mostly derived by you. Lately you would point to something you want to eat and put your finger into your mouth, sort of dangling out to tell us how badly you want to it that. Where did you learn that, I don't know.
I love it because there's always that sparkle in your eyes. You're curious and always seeking to try out something new. You've to put on earrings, clip your hair, put on make up, basically everything you observe me doing. Oh God, please give me wisdom so that I'd have a life worthy to be modelled by you.
Your sweetness melts our hearts everyday. You'd freely cuddle and kiss anyone who has been playing with you. Many of the relatives and mummy's friends have been blessed this CNY with your cuddles and kisses. Thank you for loving us everyday, and for making parenting so rewarding.
You're strong willed and many times very independent. It's been a learning curve for me teaching you and being firm with you when you demand something, especially things that is "way off". Many times, I need to be disciplined myself not to be a jelly fish parent but one who knows when to give and when to refrain. It's not easy sometimes to have a firm stance, and being able to separate anger and frustration from it.
God reminded me today to learn to really pray for you, something that I often forget to do. I used to but of recent, I've found myself just trying to keep up with things. I thank God for this timely reminder because besides praying with you daily, I need to commit your life to God because ultimately He is your creator and the best Father ever. He gives you wisdom and brings maturity. He protects and love, more than daddy or mummy ever can.
I hope to be able to teach you more constructively this month and I am looking forward to you starting Childcare too because of its structured programs offered. I pray that you'll enjoy yourself because I know you thrive being engaged in activities and playing with others.
I put up this picture to remind you how blessed you are to be surrounded by so many people who loves us. Coming back to Singapore has been one of the best decision and we are really thanking God for this season He has brought us. This picture speaks of how much you love your cousins especially, Grace. You've been so loved because Grace would often stand up for you, she will offer you her toys, she just adores you.
May you continue to grow and thrive. May you continue to experience God's love through us, and people around you. May you learn to love God and people around you too.
We love you precious, I am biased I know, but you're the sweetest thing ever :) - (oh daddy's very sweet too... hee...)
Love, Mummy

Interupted

My work got "interupted" by a very happy email. The husband sent me an email (with this picture attached) from the park (wonders of i-phone). He brought Janice there since it was his off day. They're having their father-daughter dates almost weekly, it was awww so sweet that I am half melted in the freezing air con :)