A Delight to be a Disciple

After I was D overdosed last week, a friend (was my j.c. teacher) dropped me a message reminding me of a couple of scriptures: Psalm 37:3-4 and John 11:1-43.

I sat on the word (not literally!) for a few days as I worked through a couple of struggles in my heart. I sensed the freedom to keep my life (and my thoughts) simple as I learn to walk with the Lord e.v.e.r.y. s.i.n.g.l.e. d.a.y.

Desires - my desires are met by my Lord and I shall not be in want. He satisfy all my needs and knows of all my desires. 

Disciple - Above all my roles on earth, I am a disciple of Christ. Like Peter, and many others in the bible, I have flaws and weaknesses. But I choose to believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus. To believe and live out His word and put fulfilling His commission above my plans. To know that sometimes He takes time to mould me, He uses circumstances to shape me, all because He loves me.

Delight - In waiting, instead of seeing it as a Delay thus discouragement, I learn to delight. It teaches me to have a grateful heart. A bitter spirit eats up the joy, and crushes the spirit. I've seen how bitter I can get when I face struggles in parenting, in my marriage, and life in general. Thus I will learn to take Delight as His Disciple. Wouldn't you? If you know that you are a disciple to the great high priest, the wonderful counselor, and the great King over the heaven and earth. He who will freely give - Love, guidance, wisdom and power. 

My human mind can only comprehend how hard and impossible all the above is. But the gentle holy spirit will tell me, keep it simple because" surely I am with you, till the very end of age (Matthew 28:20, Jesus' last words)"

Pause

Whilst I was doing my devotions this morning, I suddenly had the picture of Janice tapping on the pause button when she was asked to do something in the midst of her watching video clips (she learnt that herself...kids nowadays). But I felt in my heart that God had somehow hit my pause button some 8 months ago.
In the midst of that 'pause' He has allowed me to filter and figure what matters most.
Many things took its 'pause' over the last 8 months. Career was one, I did way less housework, and many daily routines that sort of fell into place to work around the schedules. But in that midst, my worship grew, my devotions grew, my faith grew. My role as a mom, a wife grew (I tried to spend more time being there rather than busying myself round the house all the time). I have a lot more opportunities to spend time with my parents and friends. I am now putting efforts to work on my passions and plant myself to be an effective sister in Christ in the local church. I learnt to rest.
This 'pause' exposed my vulnerability and showed me to rely on MY mighty God everyday.

One of those days ...

It was one of those days when getting out of a negative thought cycle was such a struggle. I wanted to blog during one of those days, but I couldn't even get to my laptop. I suppose it was good, because I don't like to lament during those days, but prefer to write when I can see it, in some way of retrospect.

Those days were the days I felt weak, and nausea and vicious cycle of not seeing the light out of the tunnel, praying and struggling to focus beyond where I am and what my family could possibly be going through. It was real, those thoughts and struggles. As much as I am writing now, in some way retrospectively, I know I will still walk through such valleys, whether it is pertaining to the current situation or some other circumstances down the road. But I also know His love is unfailing, and with every bit of remaining sanity, I will cling on to that, and He catches me. And again, I felt it this afternoon, sitting in a huge lazy boy armchair doing my 3rd chemo. I felt nausea, restless, even resentful slightly when someone I did not know came by to want to pray and asked me if I had unforgiveness. I sat there and started speaking in tongues, and all I knew was, though what seemed like eternity (2.5-3hrs) sitting there, His grace somehow carried me through, as I listened to Chris Tomlin's I will rise. And now I am sitting here, a lot lighter hearted.

3 things I know I am struggling with during one of those days:

1. Beat myself up

You know I can beat myself up, spending some days really in tune and close to God. And there will be some days when complacence sets in. Then physically I will go through another hurdle and I can beat myself up again for not remaining close to God enough to walk through the hurdle with joy and gladness in my heart. But I really got to learn and I know that the holy spirit is reminding me time and again that really, nothing I can do can make Him love me less or more, but He has given me everything. Hey, I can have full confidence in His grace that is more than sufficient to carry me through everything. Including my horridest humanly sinful weaknesses. I just need to come to Him again and again. I am learning and breakthrough will come.

2. Legalism

On the another swing of the matter. I am not here to make ticks and checklists. Not how consistent I can do my quiet time. I can have full security to rest when I need to, and wake up with joy in my heart to enjoy and be captivated by Him. I am learning this. God, please remind me daily, my joy is in the salvation I am working on daily :) Legalism also coming in the form of fear of not doing what I think is good. Like eating a measured load of vegetables, organic produce or guilty to guts when stealing a bite of salty carrot cake, a mouth of cake etc. Will my condition improve or worsen? Oh no what have I just done? I've got to understand the choices I make that should come out of my intention of taking life responsibly as a good steward, not out of fear. My trust in healing is not upon how "obedient" I can be or how many right things I have done, who/what I have prayed for. But my trust in God and His sovereignty, goodness and faithfulness. My trust in Him, His character and nothing else.

3. Paranoia

Again very linked. What ifs? Will I need to go through life, paranoid at the food I am going to take, my daughter, my husband's, my loved ones health? My health? Pains, discomforts, coughs? All a sign of something? I think of how I am going to balance my thoughts. Worry worts seem to run in the family, and I want to break it, because I know it is one thing that steals me away from the my trust in God. A couple of weeks back, I had the privilege to write out a list of chinese verses for my mom all in the area of God's faithfulness and how we ought not to worry. I wrote in the note to my mom saying that each time she worries, she will be falling in the trap of the enemy, so each time she worries, she needs to meditate on these verses. I spoke that out of faith and proclamation also for myself. It will be a breakthrough of faith here. Far away from what has blinded us for years.

So now once again, I want to remain myself, and you, that the Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead is living in me (you), and He who raised Christ from the dead will also give live to my (your) mortal body (bodies) through His spirit who lives in me (you). Roman 8:11

Let me tell you the story behind this verse (Sunita, I promised I will start documenting some of these things down:)

Two days before the condition was "confirmed" I was sitting at the waiting room before the last and "determining" scan. I remembered this very word that rung in my mind continuously. I remembered the day after I was diagnosed by the doctors about my condition, I wanted so much to know how much His word was relevant to me. Not just a general principle, but for me. It was funny, because I was sitting in my parent's living room, thinking as I looked out of the window. This truck, from nowhere drove past, and the word on the truck was "RHEMA". In red. I was like, God, you have a sense of humor here. The truck drove by, in slow speed. And at the back of the truck, just before it sped off said "You are in good hands". Funny right. It made me laughed so hard. That very evening, Pastor Jo came for a visit and said, I was meditating in the morning and this verse kept coming up and I felt it was really for you. Read Romans 8:11.

Thoughts on a Sunday Night

My life, or our lives (as a family) took a totally unexpected turn about 1.5 months back. What we thought was a common cough and backache I had for the past couple of months turned out to be a stage 4 lung cancer. The weeks leading up to the diagnosis on the 30th June 2011, was a whirlwind of tests, and scans. It was the scariest time of my life, almost like walking through dark tunnels that brought us deeper and further away.

As the scans and tests began to reveal almost my entire insides, in search for cancer cells, I know that God too was doing a major surgical work in me and many of those who were standing by me, especially my family and some close friends. We really struggled to figure what was going on, I would wake up in the middle of night with pangs of fear that made me feel too sick to move. But somehow, God just never failed to speak and gave us peace that we could not explain. I remembered when the tests were still going on and when we first got the hint from the specialists that it was cancer, we sat at the hospital bench. I closed my eyes and the first thing I remembered asking of God was joy. When that came out, my carnal nature questioned, joy? What was I thinking? But little did I know that that was the very note

that held us together since the journey started.

Fast track 1.5 months later, 1 cycle of chemo into the treatment, with 1 more on the way in less than 24hrs time; there's been so much to thank God for. The list is too long to recount here. To name a few: My parents accepted Christ and has been hungry to learn about Christ since then. I am blessed with tremendous support from family and friends. As I stood in worship this morning, I recounted the series of events, though felt like a deep valley, has only affirmed a truth of God's unconditional love for me. Not just for those around me, but for me. The truth that seemed to have found its place in my mind and my heart. It was clear and doubtless. It kept ringing over and over again in my heart today, you know just like how a toddler first learnt their steps, they would keep trying and walk over and over again as if it was a strange new feeling that they've found their legs.

Besides all these, its amazing to see how Janice has grown over the weeks. I can't believe how much she has grown in the vocabulary in prayers. Tonight before the reading of bedtime stories, she turned to the dad and said, "we must pray for mummy first, ok." Without any prompting she prayed a simple prayer, "Dear Jesus, please heal mummy and protect mummy, in Jesus name, Amen. Now mummy, you can start to read now!" Before I left the room, she wanted to pray for me again.

I had to release some of my thoughts here today, it's been an incredible journey, very scary, I've never felt that uncertain in life, I've never had so much time to read the bible, pray and worship, and experience Him so closely either. I've never had so much support and prayers garnered up for me.

Okay this post ended to be longer than planned. So good night, I should now get some rest for Chemo attack number 2 tomorrow.

Complete

This song was buried at the back of my mind for a long time. This song is a very personal worship I have with God, and was also the song I walked down the aisle the day I married my dear hub. I think I haven't even listened to it for quite a while. But for the past 3 days, it is this song that resonates deeply. It gave me the perspective to keep looking up towards my Lord. To know that I am still a work incomplete but He is in the process of making me whole. He will bring me to completion. I know.

Here I am Oh God

I bring this sacrifice

My open heart

I offer up my life

I look to you Lord

Your love that never ends

Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord

In your strength will I breakthrough Lord

Touch me now

let your love fall down on me

I know your Love dispels all my fears

Through the storm I will hold on Lord

And by faith I will walk on Lord

Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day

And I will be COMPLETE in you.

How can I keep from Singing

I've been struck by a series of events and crossroads over the past weeks. As decisions were made and things began to unfold, my heart began to be more at peace. Not that things got easier, I was in fact being confronted with truths about my life that requires change. Change in my attitudes and adjustments in my life. I need lots of help from the Holy Spirit and I was reminded of this song today. Through the day, different parts of the lyrics seem to echo and speak right into heart. So after work today, I swung by Trumpet Praise and made my (very rare) CD purchase. I came back and told the husband about the song, and funny thing was that he has been singing the same song too. God has been working this way quite often with us, affirming us with same lyrics, something very comforting to me and reminding me just how real he is. So the song is right, how can I keep from Singing when I know I stand on this rock?

How can I keep from Singing

There is this endless song

Echoes in my soul

I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come

I am holding on

To the rock I cling

Chorus:

How can I keep from singing Your praise

How can I ever say enough

How amazing is Your love

How can I keep from shouting Your name

I know I am loved by the King

And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes

In the darkest night

For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You

Knowing you'll see me through

And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times

Sing when I win

I can sing when I lose my step

And fall down again

I can sing 'cause You pick me up

Sing 'cause You're there

I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord

When I call to you in prayer

I can sing with my last breath

Sing for I know

That I'll sing with the angels

And the saints around the throne

A Mental Note to Self on TODAY

TODAY, I peered over my shoulders

And saw how envy eats my security away

TODAY,, I found the liberation

When I claim the unique plan God has coming my way

TODAY,, I realized the power of praise

Allows the Holy Spirit to have much of His Say

TODAY,, I chose to look ahead

By focusing my moment in Him everyday

Seasons of Life

I stumbled upon this article today. A question I have been prompted to pray through is: What season am I in?

I do not know the answer yet, because the truth is I have been too busy lately and have been more like a Mary than Martha. I know that and I am slowing down for the next 2 months. I am excited to seek the Lord and hopefully 2011 will be propelled by the knowledge of His plans for the season, at least glimpse! Pray with me if you could.

For the Young Mother: Ministry, Guilt, and Seasons of Life

By Jani Ortlund

Guilt is a young mother’s habitual shadow. It has a nasty way of soaking through many of her efforts at nurturing, serving and loving others. “Am I doing enough for my children? For others? What do they think of me? What does God think of me?”

As a young mother everyone wants something from you—your family, your church, your boss, your neighbor. And most likely, you give way more than you ever thought you could. But along the way guilt nibbles at your soul, eating away your inner peace and joy. And it often lingers through the years, even after your children are grown and gone.

Dear young mother, don’t waste your guilt!

DON’T WASTE YOUR GUILT

Don’t waste your guilt, but instead listen to it and evaluate it. Take it out of the shadows and examine it in the light of Scripture. Lay out your feelings before Christ. Is this guilt legitimate conviction of sin? Then confess your sin, receive his forgiveness and ask him where and how he wants you to change.

But maybe your guilt is a nagging, self-focused fear that if you were just a bit better or worked just a little harder, then you would be noticed and admired enough to feel okay about yourself. That is false guilt, rooted in pride. It will hurt your family and hinder your relationship with your grace-giving Father. If this describes your guilt, then remind yourself that through Christ’s death and resurrection, you’re accepted by God. The solution to false guilt, as to true guilt, is the gospel.

Paul speaks of these two kinds of guilt in 2 Corinthians 7:10. There is a godly grief that produces repentance, and a worldly grief that produces death. Ask yourself this question: is what I give my time and energies to driven by life-giving repentance or life-depleting pride?

A YOUNG MOTHER’S PRIMARY MISSION FIELD

One reason a young mother can feel wrongly guilty is that she forgets that her first and primary mission field must be her children.

God values children. He places great importance on our teaching our children to love and serve him (Deut. 6:7-9). Jesus became indignant when the disciples didn’t value the worth of children in God’s expanding kingdom (Mark 10:13-16). And God tells us that children are his blessing to us (Psalm 127:3).

Mothering calls for the best in us as women. As mothers, we shape the souls of our children and ultimately influence the world. Children are our gift to the future. So accept your calling from God to serve your family. It is not godly guilt that would call you away from a wholehearted investment in your little ones for his sake. Don’t feel guilty over making your children your primary ministry investment when they are young. You are teaching the younger generation to form intimate emotional bonds with others. Your sensitivity, availability, devotion, affection, and unhurried attention are irreplaceable.

MOTHERING: PLAIN HARD WORK

On the other hand, Paul’s word to me as an older woman is to “train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled” (Tit. 2:4-5).

Why does the apostle have to tell us older women to teach these things to the younger women? Because it can be hard to love your husband and children. In fact, it can be easier to minister outside the home. Why is it more rewarding for us to plan a ladies’ retreat for two hundred women than it is to plan an indoor picnic with our preschoolers on a rainy afternoon? I think it’s because the rewards are more immediate and the demands are not so steady.

Being a young mother is plain hard work. At times it feels like slave labor! Young moms can identify with the cartoon of a toddler looking at a wedding album with his daddy and saying, “So that’s the day Mommy came to work for us!”

But God has called you to this ministry. He knows there are no neutral moments in a young child’s life, whose experience is one of continuous need and development. Your children will bear the imprint of your mothering throughout their lives because much of human behavior springs from imitation.

You are the only mother your children have. Your ministry to them is the deepest expression of your love for them. Raising your children has to be done right the first time around. It is one of the few places in life where you can not say, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

You have received this commission from God. As a mother your privilege is to teach them how to respect their daddy and be kind to their siblings, how to choose good nutrition and wholesome entertainment, why they should value courtesy and orderliness, and which causes are worthy of their efforts, their reputations, and even their very blood.

Are you discouraged as you spend day after day immersed in the mundane tasks of mothering? Then think of the honor of guiding the spiritual and intellectual and social development of young minds and hearts. Think of the thrill of teaching them eternal truths from God’s Word. Think of the importance of teaching your young children how to live under authority, and of preparing them for future relationships by teaching them about love and trust. Think of the delight of sending one more godly, vibrant, strong, secure, loving young person into this needy world with the courage to live well for Christ’s sake. What a worthy investment!

WHAT YOUNG MOTHERS NEED: A HEART FOR THE HOME

Another challenge for a young mother is cultivating a love for the home.

God has called us to love our children from home base (Tit. 2:4-5). We can’t improve upon God’s design! This means more than staying at home. It means fixing your heart on your home. Women can leave their homes through more avenues than work or outside ministry. Cell phones, emails, and chat rooms can take a mother away from her primary ministry, too.

Ministry means being “all there.” It means rejoicing that you get to show your children how to peddle a tricycle, make their bed, build good memories, and share their toys with others. You serve your family, and ultimately your heavenly Father, by helping your child do that puzzle for the seventeenth time, by washing those sticky fingers, by planting a little garden, by acting out Bible stories and praying together, and by preparing for their daddy’s return as the highlight of your day!

What is the alternative? “A child left to himself disgraces his mother” (Prov. 29:15).

Remember this: you have the privilege of passing on to young hearts a sense of God! Should you feel guilty for that? As you let your children experience intimacy, nearness, and availability in their earliest years with you, you can point them to find those soul-necessities in Christ, their Savior, as they mature. And then you have the delight of sending them out with a light in their souls to bless this darkened world.

Someone is going to be influencing your children, inculcating values and imprinting standards on their impressionable young minds. Let it be you!

THIS SEASON IS JUST A SEASON

Does this mean you will never invest in others outside your family? Goodness, no. But if you are a young mother, use your primary ministry of mothering to guide your choices about where to serve Christ now. Don’t let anything woo you away from your unique role as a wife and mother.

This season in your life is just that—a season. And each season is a divine calling from our Creator and King. Organizing a new church event is important. Teaching your little boy to be kind to his sister is also important. But which one can best be done by you during this season? Serve God well by ministering to your children first. Very soon they will be grown and gone and all those uniquely teachable moments will be gone. And you will have ample opportunity to serve Christ outside your home in the seasons ahead.

“But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded” (2 Chronicles 15:7).

Jani Ortlund is a former schoolteacher and holds a master’s degree in education. She is the author two books, Fearlessly Feminineand His Loving Law, Our Lasting Legacy. Jani is the wife of Dr. Raymond Ortlund, Jr.

July/August 2010
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On the point Obedience

There are many items on our list that we are deliberating with God. We know that moving back to Singapore was only the start of many things to come. Kel and I are made very differently. He will be the one to suggest a move, a change, something new, something to explore. I will be the "what about this, what about that? Have we considered this etc" With my minute vision and brain space, I take a while to comprehend what God can do or is doing. I often see from my perspective, weigh the opportunity cost, I do mental calculations, I relent and classified some decisions under the "tough choices" category.

Today God spoke to me through this passage of 1 Sam 15:22

"Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as obeying the voice of the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams" 1 Sam 15:22

So a note to self: It is not about how much I can give or let go. It is about the careful listening of His voice and obey with my entire being.
This makes perfect sense to me and I look forward to see how HIS plans intertwines in a perfect way. I don't have to get the picture all the time.

My hopes for You.

To all who comes to this space, here are my hopes for you and your family ...

• I pray that your intimacy with God will be even closer and that your motivation for doing what you do will be influenced by your conversation with Him rather than the latest fads and programs.
• You would find a really close friend - someone you can trust to hold you accountable and one who allows you the privilege of genuine honesty.
• I ask God to remove those roadblocks in your ministry that would prohibit you from finding the fulfillment you desire, and to bring about healing in any relationships around you that cause you to be anxious and fearful.
• I challenge you to "speak your word with boldness," and I long for you to experience within your labors"miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant, Jesus" (Acts 4:29,30)
• I envision you falling in love with your call all over again, and find great satisfaction in a servant/shepherd relationship with the people you minister to. Love them!
• I beg you to let your own family know how valued they are by you ... and, from time to time, to ask them how they are doing.

"not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant - not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." 2 Corinthians 3:5-6

In Jesus name, Amen
Adapted from H.B. London

A season completed and many more new ones to come

I was reminded of the song that was played as I walked down the aisle, many months back. It was a worship song that has spoken so much to me in the months leading up to the wedding. I remembered the time when I was hit with so much uncertainties that really paralysed me. I wasn't confident to be a wife, I wasn't confident of the decision to get married, I felt like a child, faced with a life stage that seemed way to big for me to handle. God reminded me that the marriage covenant is next in after the covenant I have with Jesus Christ. I felt excited but overwhelmed. Could I trust the then husband to be? Could I trust myself in this commitment? Could I allow him to take the lead and support and submit like a Proverbs 31 wife?

It was a season where God really worked a very critical area in my relationship with Him ~ Trust. To trust Him in every season, every step. That I can trust to keep the marriage vows, and trust in the man of my life, because of Him. It was such a breakthrough and the strength I received from His word is still empowering me daily to this date, in good and trying days alike.

Here I am oh God, I bring this sacrifice - My Open Heart

I Offer up my life, I look to you Lord, Your Love that never ends, Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord, In your strength will I breakthrough Lord

Touch me now, let your Love fall down on me,

And I will be Complete in You.

Here I am oh God, I bring this sacrifice - My Open Heart

I Offer up my life, I look to you Lord, Your Love that never ends, Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord, And by faith I will walk on Lord

Then I'll see, beyond my calvary one day,

And I will be be Complete in ...

So I lift my eyes to you Lord, In your strength will I breakthrough Lord,

Touch me now, let your Love fall down on me,

I know your Love dispels all my fears

Through the storm I will hold on Lord,

And I pray, I will hold on Lord.

Then I'll see, beyond my calvary one day

And I will be Complete in You.

"Complete" - Parachute Band

As I reflect upon the lyrics, I was reminded of my position and who I am in Christ. I am terribly thankful for the seasons He has brought me through since then. To be thankful and confident of where I am this moment, to know that I am where I am meant to be and to have married the man He has for me. Thank you, Jesus.

What I took back from today's Staff Devotion

Today at staff devotion, we had a guest speaker come and share with us as our Division leaders went away for a retreat. Just wanted to note it down so that I won't forget. He was sharing about his difficulties in ministry with the youths and how it is so challenging, not so much the youths but many times, their parents can really be a pain as well.

Amongst his sharing, he mentioned how a parent got upset with him cause he had to tell their child to step down from ministry cause his relationship with God wasn't going well and it was starting to reflect outwardly in his ministry. And he went to still apologize to the parent. He told us "I apologized not because I did something wrong to her son, but I apologized because I hurt them."

When I heard that, it really touched my heart to know that we don't apologize because of the action that we did, but instead for the reaction that was caused by the initial action (which might not be wrong in the first place). This was something that I want to hold onto in every area of my life; my relationship with God, my family, my friends and my ministry.

Joy

A couple of months back, 3 prophets prayed and prophesied over us during a presbytery. One of the words spoken of us was the element of joy. That we will be ones who will bring joy and claim upon the joy of the Lord as our strength. These words etched deep but boy, it was such an ache upon my heart, because I knew that was exactly what I needed in life, joy.

I've struggled with purpose, strived to find joy, meaning and answers to my life. I knew I was discontented, unsatisfied. It's like trying to find a connection between my external and my internal. I cannot describe what was going on, except for frustration.

Last night, I laid on bed and found myself praying to surrender jealousy and lust over the things of the world. I've spent many points of my life wishing I had what others had, wishing I could be more like someone else. I fell into the world of expectations upon myself, and my perceived mind of what others expect of me, especially my love ones. Worse of all, I found myself expecting more and more from my husband. As I was doing so, Kel popped a question, asking if I was dissatisfied and discontented. It was a such a divine question, there I was praying to overcome the exact same issues.

I realised why I ached at the word, joy. I knew the stealers of joy and what has been replaced were worldly discontentment and disappointments.

After all these years, today I stepped into a new beginning, a place where I knew I have experienced abundance before. I place which will take my hopes to new flights. I want to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. (2 Cor 10:5)

You know, it's such a release.

Receiving God's Revelation

Great stuff from Bill Johnson! Got infected by Mr Li and I have been reading quite a bit from Bill Johnson. So rather than just keeping it at mere knowledge, I am going to try to apply them in my life. So I will have to work on these 8 insights starting at having that Childlike faith in approaching God and His word. Will set aside 8 weeks to try my best to work on all 8 of them in becoming more of God's friend. Hope you all will be encouraged as well.

The following is a list of practical suggestions for those wanting to grow in revelation from God.

1. Become childlike. Simplicity and humility of heart helps qualify a person to hear from God, while the desire to be profound is a wasted desire. What many discover after years of teaching is that the word that is simple is often the most profound. “At that time Jesus answered and said, “I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and have revealed them to babes.” (Matthew 11:25)

2. Obey what you know. Jesus taught His followers, “If anyone wills to do His will, he shall know concerning the doctrine, whether it is from God or whether I speak on My own authority.” (John 7:17) “If anyone wills . . . he shall know” – Clarity comes to the one willing to do the will of God. The willingness to obey attracts revelation, because God is the ultimate steward, investing His treasures into fertile ground – the surrendered heart.

3. Learn the biblical art of ‘meditation’. “I call to remembrance my song in the night; I will meditate within my heart, and my spirit makes diligent search.” (Psalms 77:6) Biblical meditation is a diligent search. Whereas religious cults teach people to empty their minds as the means of meditation, the Bible teaches us to fill our minds with God’s Word. Meditation has a quiet heart and a ‘directed’ mind. Mulling a word over in our heart, with a pursuit that springs from the inquisitive child’s heart, is meditation.

4. Live in faith. “Whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them.” (2 Corinthians 4:4) Revelation comes to the one expressing faith! Live with the understanding that God has already willed to give you His mysteries (Matthew 13:11), and ask accordingly. Then thank Him in advance.

5. Acquire an understanding heart. This sort of heart has the foundations in place for something to be constructed upon it. These are the basic concepts of the King and His kingdom. Proper foundations attract the builder (revelator) to come and add to those foundations. “But knowledge is easy to one who has understanding.” (Proverbs 14:6) God wisely stewards fresh insight to those who have the basic principles in place. When fresh insights come, the understanding heart has a “slot to put it in”. It is not lost as seed spilled on the ground.

6. Give God your nights. I try to end each day with my heart’s affection stirred up and directed to the Holy Spirit. What an amazing way to go to sleep. The Song of Solomon reveals this poetically, “I sleep, but my heart is awake.” (Song of Solomon 5:2) God loves to visit us in the night and give us instruction that we would have a hard time receiving during the day.

7. Give away what you have already received. He draws out of the deep places in our hearts things that are not yet a part of our conscious thought processes. (Proverbs 20:5)

8. Become a friend of God. God shares His secrets with His friends. “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)

In the season of change

Isaiah 43

1 But now, this is what the LORD says—

he who created you, O Jacob,

he who formed you, O Israel:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

Decisions, events, or words can ignite wildfires that completely change our own life's landscape. That is not necessarily a bad thing. Fire is nature's way of clearing brush and enriching soil for future growth. Sweeping change can do the same to our lives. However that doesn't negate loss, discomfort and fear we feel during fire's refining process. During those times, God, Himself becomes our refuge and strength. In those flash fires of life, the Saviour immerses us in cool, life-giving waters of His love and protection. God allows raging wildfires to refine us, yet not set us ablaze.

Till I see you ...

The greatest love that anyone could ever know

That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul

And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home

I'll trust in You

With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come

And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done

And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home

I'll trust in You

****
I will live to love You

I will live to bring You praise

I will live a child in awe of You

****
You are the voice that calls the universe to be

You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me

And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home

I'll trust in you

You alone are God of all

You alone are worthy Lord

And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

© 2005 Cbs/Epic/Wtg Records

Full Time

Since the birth of Janice, I have gotten many people asking if I was a full time mom. Regardless the number of days Janice goes to Childcare, or for that matter 10,20 years down the road when she starts getting her own life, I will always consider myself as a full time mom. The day I knew she's conceived, follow on the day she was born, God has placed upon my life one of the greatest responsiblity a person can have. A responsibility over a life, a person, a precious one. The intensity of what you could be doing as a mom could vary over years or season, the role remains. I am a mother, 24/7 round the clock. No one can ever imagine the magnitude of it till you step into it. I could never have emphatised with another parent no matter how often I baby sit another child. I've learnt to assume this role and accept that my life will no longer be the same. I start to realise why till this day my mom still ask what I ate for dinner and ask me to see a doctor when I clear my throat. It's a full time job and I've only just begun. Sometimes I think I've done a bad job, but I'll have a life time to learn and I will. (but will never be perfection). Being a mother reveals that I am weak and how HE is strong. It's really humbling, but I am really loving it.

FireProofing Your Marriage - Commitment of a Life Time

Watched the movie 'Fireproof' last night with Yen and it was such a great reminder of how much we need each other and that no matter how tough times and situations can get; out is NEVER an option!

The movie really brought in so much truths about what a marriage is meant to be. Marriage in this time and age has reduced it's significance and standing in our society. People get married in the heat of passion and in the name of love and feelings. But there wasn't time to put the relationship to a test of heat and trials of commitment. And when tough times come, suddenly there isn't anymore passion, love and feelings for each other. Only the things that iritate you stands out so clearly about your spouse. Worst of all, a broken marriage not only affects the couple involved, but if they have kids, their upbringing would be somewhat incomplete and inbalanced.

Marriage is not just built upon the foundations of love and feelings. Marriage being such a tall and important structure in God's house, surely it requires God to be in the centre of it all, and also built upon the foundations of a covenant of being there for each other whether richer or poorer, health or sickness, good or bad time and till death do us part.

Just recently, there has been some marriages of my friends that I have heard about that were already broken and couples decided to throw in the towel; many are my age or slightly older. How painful that must be for them, leaving such a scar in each others' lives. And the word 'commitment' would never have the same definition in their lives again.

Media these days is not really helping people gain that definition either. Thus I realise that I must really be able to conduct myself with my family to be able to live out a life of commitment to God, my wife and family. May my life set the example for my youths to desire to imitate as I try with all my might to imitate the life of Christ.

Passion vs Commitment

Yesterday at Ablaze conference 2009, we made it there in time to listen to Ps Ben of Lifeplace shared at the workshop. Having travelled all the way to Yandina just for that session, I felt it was so worthwhile! Ablaze conference rocks!!! God bless you guys at Ablaze even more over today and tomorrow morning.

During the workshop, we had a Q&A time where someone asked the question "What happens when I no longer have the passion to serve God"? When I heard Ps Ben's reply to that, I was so encouraged. He said along the lines of - serving God something Christians should be doing. It is not dependent on your feelings or passion. If that's how we walk in our Christian life, then there will always be lots of ups and downs, which makes our relationship and walk with God very unstable. If I had to choose, I'll choose commitment over passion.

That was so true and something that I had close to myself. Times when I feel so down and out, but still on the roster it says KM on worship leading. I would be dragging my feet to practise and all. But without fail, on Sunday pre-service practise will always sound like the worst session ever and it just gets worst. But when service starts, the time of Praise and Worship is handed over to God, I can just feel God ministering to myself as I lead. It is such a privilege and honor to serve God.

So when time comes where passion is all lost, remind yourself that as Jesus had to drag himself to carry the cross to Calvary, we too sometimes just have to pick up our cross and follow Christ no matter what!

Press on my fellow Christians!!!! Passion will come when we serve God wholeheartedly even when it is doing the lowest of tasks!

Unstoppable Christian Creed

I must first mention that this was quoted from Ps Shirley's Blog. After reading it again and again, I now believe that this should be every Christian's core values. Thus I am making it my cry as well! Take up your role as a responsible Christian and stop blaming others for your own deliberate faults and flaws!

My name is Kelvin

And I am unstoppable
I don’t flirt with or date the church

I’m not infatuated with the church

I have no illusion that the church is perfect

What I have is a commitment to love God’s church

Not just with words but with my hands and feet

I’ll neither point finger nor look further for the answer’s in the mirror

I believe God’s not dead; He’s building the church he died for

A living miracle of a bunch of imperfect people loving imperfect people

I believe God has called us to build this church without walls

My name is Kelvin

I am a living stone of God’s church

And together we are God's unstoppable Church!