4 years and stronger

Being married has brought out the ugliest and best side of us. 4 years, we have gone through a fair share of highs and lows. Its amazing because from the time we got married, our lives have been in constant transition. There has been a major change going on every single year. Employment, baby, moving back Singapore, Kel going into full time ministry, and now studies. Flashback of the past 4 years, I remember fun times, endearing moments, forgiving, and reconciliation. I wouldn't say it was a bed of roses always when grindings of the daily routines take over. Considering how different we both are, we clash big time. When I am stressed up, I see every single hair on the floor, the unwashed cups, the magnified dust and mess. When he is stressed up, he takes a back seat, and disengages a little (sometimes more :)); And funnily, we normally get stressed at the same time, so you can imagine the tolerance that has to come on both ends.

4 years has been rewarding and I am so glad that God gave me a man whose love for me is unwavering. I saw how he has grown to give in and give up, how he humbled himself. I thank God for humbling me and moulding me, for teaching me to give thanks, hope and trust when things do not go my way. I thank God that we can look into each other's eyes and still be passionate for each other. For giving us a beautiful daughter to remind us that we ought to remain faithful to love each other for her sake too. We told each other when we had our date yesterday, that we will constantly remember to keep our excitement for each other strong and not forget how we love spending time together, and that nothing should rob that away. Not age, not the weighs in life, not anything.

I enter the 5th year of marriage with a prayer that I will walk stronger with the Lord, because it is only through Him that I can gain strength to love and wisdom. I enter in this new phase excited because God is doing so much more in Kel's life that I know I trust this man to lead the family to deeper love with our Lord.

Happy Anniversary my dear ... I love you ...

About the Dad ...

One of the highlights working for Focus on the Family was to witness very touching moments. We had a Date with Dad over the weekend and it was so heart warming to see fathers and daughters catching up, tearing over conversations, writing letters to affirm each other and ending with a pledge from the father to the daughter before presenting the daughter with the “Worth the Wait” ring. I believe it was a very defining moment. Fathers are often not fantastic with words while on the other hand, daugthers will like to hold the perception that their fathers do not understand them.

I guess I come from a point of view of someone who stands between the X and Y generation. I see many old ways that need to be changed for the better yet still living in the nagging norms of a slightly more traditional upbringing. I grew up with the understanding that dads provide the bread. There is no need to really spend time with the wife or kids. Home on the other hand is for the moms to run. I knew my dad as a responsible man, and have vague memories of a couple of occasions of his soft hands of affirmation. It was sometime of recent that I began to understand the impact of my lack of father daughter relationship and some negative consequences from that. By the way, I do not hold any grudges against my dad, but one thing I recognised is that the daughters yearning heart for the dad’s approval is real even till this day. I am learning to translate my own experience to hopefully parent my daugther (and hopefully children to come) better, whilst reallly seeking God for His infinite wisdom. To qualify, I do not think that I grew up under “bad” parenting, and there are so much wisdom I could get from the way my parents brought me up, and that deserves other entries on.

I am super blessed to have a husband who believes and is willing to sow into the daughter’s life. In the times I struggle to release him to the marketplace(or rather his place of work) and make his mark (while yearning for him to spend more time to see the actual growth of our little one) he assures me that he chose his path today because he wanted to be part of the everyday life of the family. I bear the genes of a sinful carnal man, and I struggle every now and then when my mom would nag at me for us (the husband and I) to find better paying jobs etc. and often I found it hard not to entertain the enticing thought of being part of the bigger rat race of striving for MORE. To date, I am still in the process of being moulded by God, to stand secure at His call and provision. And to shout out that I will not be in lack, not physically, not in wisdom (especially in parenting), not emotionally (He can fill me with joy and great satisfaction in life)

Since love is also in the air today, being Valentine’s Day, I ought to do something that I seldom do. To affirm my dear husband as a father and a lover. I think I have wasted countless golden opportunities to critisize instead of affirm. The kitchen not cleaned, clothes not washed, what? You forgot to wash the vegetables before you cooked for janice?? Etc etc. On many occasions, it may have seemed that I still trust my earthly dad more than my very own husband’s judgment calls, I know I have come a long way to learn to acknowledge and trust the man of my household.

Someone told me, that its hard to be fathers of this generation. They have so many different hats to wear and honestly multi-tasking is not their flair. But I salute to you my dear husband, for the times you've sacrificed yourself for us. For how you hung on and lead me in the way that you think God is calling us to. To affirm me when I am lost and confused. For waking up for the little one. For being very generous with your hugs to her (and me). For bring us out (individually) on dates. For teaching me to see beyond material things. For never insisting which should be a “mothers’ role” and not the dad’s role, besides breast feeding, you attempt everything. For the many things you think you have done a lousy job, but I would like to tell you that you’ve got yourself in the right foot, so hang in there. I can’t wait for you to bring the little princess out for a real real date, but meanwhile, you’re doing great. And watching (hearing) you guys depart on your bicycle for a ride warms me up and never fail to make me smile.

Happy Valentines’ Day my dear.

p.s. Janice, I hope you'll read this when you grow up and that you'll always know of your father's love, both your earthly and spiritual dads.

More than Enough

We had the joy of witnessing the marriage of one of my colleagues over the weekend. Throughout the service, I tear as I was reminded of God’s faithfulness, at the knowledge of His pleasure towards Godly marriages. I cried at the sweetness of the couple and enjoyed that moment of joy and love that lingered through the ceremony.

I couldn’t help but started to reflect upon my own marriage as I drove to work this morning.

I relived the moments we shared as husband and wife. I replayed the times of heartaches and conflicts; and also the moments of forgiveness. Great memories of our journey so far, our significant milestones all came to my mind.

The emotions evoked were pleasurable, but emotions will not stand through the test because we all know that marriage is never always on a bed of roses. After the honey sweet proposal and wedding songs will come the revelation of each others’ weaknesses. But God spoke in clarity that what He provides is more than enough.

I know that I have a tendency to fall into dissatisfaction and being critical at my own situations/my husband/myself. But I realized I could live with more conviction upon the provision of God in every area of my life. Convictions that can translate to a lasting joy that helps me look beyond the imperfections (marriage in this instance). I can rely on His love to provide the due encouragement and support I can give to the husband in good times and bad (I get frustrated at myself a lot when I wallow into this “critic” mode). I can look through His lenses and subject myself to God’s standards when I measure my husband in accordance to my selfish expectations. I can trust in God’s transformational power to change us to be more compatible each day as we grow in Christ likeness.

I paused at my carefully sliced piece of Sara lee cake packed in a little bag, knowing that though it was not a plate of right textured poached egg drizzled with hollandaise sauce, it was a piece of his love for me, that he bothered and remembered that breakfast mattered to me (though he is not always a very breakfast person). And this, is more than enough for me.

Marriage thoughts 1.1

Got a mail from a friend sharing us with this link. Very timely and appropriate.

One of the toughest thing being parents is to keep the marriage, fresh, passionate, and purposeful. I saw how some some families could put their entire energy to revolve life around children, But I also believe that the greatest gift any parent could give to their children is their love for one another. But any couples would agree with me that as much as it require great efforts to make marriage thrive, it takes doubly hard work when kids come along. In the past, if the schedule ever gets to choking for us to handle, we can always just take a day off from work and spend some time with each other, sleep in, breakfast by the beach, dip our feet in the cool waters and catch a late show. Spend the day just talking and catching up. Most times, taking a breather together helps put things back i place. These days, I take an organised "off day" very seriously, careful planning, but at the same time taking things with a pinch of salt, because unplanned things can always happen. Take last week for example, Janice fell sick on 1st Sept, a day I planned to spend some unhurried time with both the husband and daughter. Instead, we spent half a day in the clinic, and the other half a day, fighting a war. Oh and the last time we took a Fri Night/Saturday morning off, to sleep in and sneak off like dating couples for a breakfast whilst Janice spends the night with my mom, only to receive a dozen calls saying she's got fever. So nowadays, either one of us will be sick, just taking turns and to what extent.

Rough patches are inevitable to keep us sharpening each other, and each day, we strive better to be for each other. All in all, marriage (and parenting) teaches us to be less of ourselves and more for others on a daily basis. How we relate and love each other on a day to day basis becomes so important! Walk the talk daily, and I mean literally talk. Communicate, share and be truthful about our feelings. I hope I can give an 18 pointers one day, but my 3 pointers for my personal reminders are:

1. Do not assume the motivation of the husband's based on the outward action/speech - Give benefit of the doubt first
2. Always Respect
3. Learn to forgive and be generous to love

Grace’s 18 Lessons

1. Make time with Jesus your first priority, husband second priority.
2. Be intimate often.
3. Be willing to have hard and honest conversations, and pray for Jesus to make them fruitful.
4. Pray for wisdom often.
5. The enemy is always ready to divide you during trials. Don’t let him; cling to Jesus and each other.
6. Forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive …
7. Don’t enable his sin, but pray for wisdom in timing and words, and be respectful when addressing it.
8. Be a woman of inner and outer beauty.
9. Make your home a place of retreat and rest.
10. Study your husband, appreciate, value and respect him, especially when you don’t “feel” like it.
11. HAVE FUN.
12. Pray against lies. Memorize the truth of scripture.
13. Spend regular, meaningful time together. Invest in the relationship.
14. Don’t let bitterness set in if you are hurt or frustrated; dig up the root and pray it through.
15. Be an attentive and available listener.
16. Be teachable and willing to submit.
17. Set your heart and body toward your husband and don’t let either wander.
18. Repent often and allow trustworthy people to speak into your lives.

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Pastor Mark’s 18 lessons after the jump:

Pastor Mark’s 18 Lessons

Spiritual

1. Stay in church community and under godly authority.
2. Stay in your Bible and always have at least a few good Christian books you are reading.
3. Be the spiritual leader by praying with your family, modeling followership of Jesus, repenting of sin, teaching your family, etc.
4. Serve your family and serve others as a family.

Family

5. Pick a good potential mom and grandma for a wife.
6. If she respects you, the kids will too. If she does not, your family will be a grief to you.
7. Work with her to make the home, holidays, vacations, and other times filled with fun, laughter, and memories.
8. Just get through the rough seasons (sickness, demanding newborns, tough work seasons, extended family troubles, e.g.) by God’s grace.

Financial

9. Find an honest way to make enough money to give to God, be generous with others, and take care of your family.
10. Spend some money to make her life easier (dependable car, babysitting help, decent home, e.g.)

Practical

11. Try to make her laugh a lot and touch her heart and soul before you touch her body.
12. She’s not a guy, does not want to be treated like a guy, spoken to like a guy, or do what guys do.
13. She will sanctify you. It’s not her fault that your sin is obvious in relationship with her as she’s not changing you, but rather exposing you.
14. Syncing schedules is key: meet every week to organize your life together and plan out your life as one so you don’t live parallel lives.
15. Date night is important so make it happen, ideally every week.
16. Her needs change, especially when she becomes a mother, so look for new ways to humbly serve her.
17. Encouragement is to a wife as water is to a plant.
18. Every year gets better by the grace of God. Keep pressing forward together using the gospel to repent, forgive, and become more like Jesus.

Source: http://blog.marshillchurch.org/2010/08/15/18-lessons-from-18-years-of-marriage/

The Man of our lives

This year's Fathers' Day happens to coincide with the husband's Big 3-0 birthday too. So my dearest husband, this post is especially for you.

So, you're officially a year older than me :) but I thank God, many a times you're wiser, more stable and great leader to me (although there are many instances that I deny that heh!)

Once upon a time, while I was dreaming of my perfect prince charming, I had in mind a man who will love God, love me and my family. A man whom I'd desire having kids with because I know he will love and sacrifice for the family. It was a dream, and I will not break the bubble here, because the dream is a reality!

Darling, you may be "weak" in many ways. You may not have the patience you (or I) desire to have daily. You may not have the skills all the time to love and to discipline. You may not be armed with a 100% aware system that captures every pee and poo, every cry and expectations from your women. But I love you for who you are, because you've chosen God, and chosen us every single time. No matter how tired, disappointed or how badly you wanted to be at the soccer field.

Thank you for listening to us and to our cries (literally, especially Janice's in the middle of the night. Actually mine often happens late in the night to!). Thank you for your wholehearted commitment to us. Thank you for always agreeing when people say you're blessed with 2 women in your life, in actual fact, we're more than blessed. Thank you for cuddling us tight no matter how many times we've pushed you away. Thank you for being the man of our lives, now and forever.

Happy Birthday and Happy Fathers' Day. We love you too .....

P.s. We're committed to bless you with our company in every world cup season, okay la... more than that .... :)

A season completed and many more new ones to come

I was reminded of the song that was played as I walked down the aisle, many months back. It was a worship song that has spoken so much to me in the months leading up to the wedding. I remembered the time when I was hit with so much uncertainties that really paralysed me. I wasn't confident to be a wife, I wasn't confident of the decision to get married, I felt like a child, faced with a life stage that seemed way to big for me to handle. God reminded me that the marriage covenant is next in after the covenant I have with Jesus Christ. I felt excited but overwhelmed. Could I trust the then husband to be? Could I trust myself in this commitment? Could I allow him to take the lead and support and submit like a Proverbs 31 wife?

It was a season where God really worked a very critical area in my relationship with Him ~ Trust. To trust Him in every season, every step. That I can trust to keep the marriage vows, and trust in the man of my life, because of Him. It was such a breakthrough and the strength I received from His word is still empowering me daily to this date, in good and trying days alike.

Here I am oh God, I bring this sacrifice - My Open Heart

I Offer up my life, I look to you Lord, Your Love that never ends, Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord, In your strength will I breakthrough Lord

Touch me now, let your Love fall down on me,

And I will be Complete in You.

Here I am oh God, I bring this sacrifice - My Open Heart

I Offer up my life, I look to you Lord, Your Love that never ends, Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord, And by faith I will walk on Lord

Then I'll see, beyond my calvary one day,

And I will be be Complete in ...

So I lift my eyes to you Lord, In your strength will I breakthrough Lord,

Touch me now, let your Love fall down on me,

I know your Love dispels all my fears

Through the storm I will hold on Lord,

And I pray, I will hold on Lord.

Then I'll see, beyond my calvary one day

And I will be Complete in You.

"Complete" - Parachute Band

As I reflect upon the lyrics, I was reminded of my position and who I am in Christ. I am terribly thankful for the seasons He has brought me through since then. To be thankful and confident of where I am this moment, to know that I am where I am meant to be and to have married the man He has for me. Thank you, Jesus.

3 years and on

It's been 3 years since we made our vows to each other. Many things have changed over the years, one thing for sure, our sizes! and of course an addition of Janice to our lives, and because of that, each day continues to evolve as we learn to adapt and grow. Growing as parents and as the best cheerleader, friend and lover towards each other.

Marriage is exciting. Like an adventure ride. I no longer need anything else to feed into my adrenalin, being a wife and a mother is more than adequate. In fact some sedatives occasionally could be helpful :) 3 years, we have figured each others' strengths and weakness, sometimes applauding our differences and of course there will be times when we had many hair pulling frustrating occasions. Through it all, I am glad to say love has been deepened and bond strengthened. I'd never want this journey to be with another because despite our imperfections, we are perfect for each other.

3 years. Very insignificant as I chatted with my colleague who celebrated her 30th anniversary. I wonder how we'd be like then. We both share the sentiments of how we hope to be like, and I feel terribly loved to know that we're walking there hand in hand.

A good laugh, a good cry, a friendly hug, a passionate time. Words of kindness, words of love. a tight squeeze of the hand, a hug.These are some of my favorite things in the marriage. Most of all, I love the husband because without him, all these would be some random ingredients, but he made it come to reality for me, and to that I am super blessed.

Thank you dear, for you have been so loving and so giving. Thank you for trying in the most impossible time, thank you for standing by. Thank you for bringing me that bottle of water each night no matter how sleepy you are. Thank you for staying up so that I can fall asleep before the symphony starts, and for showering earlier in the morning so that I could sleep in that teeny bit more.Thank you for accepting me and because of that, it's given me so much strength to face what's ahead.

One of the biggest thing I've learnt is to love with God's love and to give with God's strength. May I continue to honour God and this marriage (and family) through LOVING in His way:

Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Oh, we celebrated the day in such a relaxing way. Dropped Janice off at Childcare, we headed for a leisurely breakfast. Shopped around, had a massage (for the 1st time in my life), dinner and back. Nice, such days are rare when you have a kid! :)

Home Sweet Home

Janice was extremely pleased with the kitchen that daddy fixed up :)

Staying in the furthest western point of Singapore means that we are hardly home. Coming home is usually the very last destination we have and once back, we would hardly head out unless a need calls. As a result, we're never home much of recent. Since we both started work, week-days have been burnt comuting to and fro home, work, my mom's place. With the weekends, we're usually out or at Church. and most times, we're only home on Sunday evening. Yesterday was an exception and I felt so good about it that it deserves a blog entry.

After Church and cell, Kel and I headed to Jelita where Janice slept for 1.5 hours on the pram. It was such a God given time where Kel and I had a nice quiet sandwich at the cafe, watching the outside pour in rain. We hung out at the bookshop for a while till Janice awoke. We then headed towards a friend's place only to be informed that the gathering was cancelled. So we ended up home by mid afternoon, armed with a very happy and contented toddler. We were supposed sit down and catch something on DVD. But you see, I am always filled with bright ideas on the house, and before I knew it, I cleverly lured Kel to start fixing up the cardboard kitchen he have been wanting to build for Janice, set up the little table and chair and revamped the hall a little. I sorted out Janice's toys, books and packed them neatly in categories ready for toy rotation to take place (I like to keep some toys and rotate so that toys will look fresh and not all over the place). I cooked for Janice and the house was thoroughly cleaned thereafter. It was such a good feeling that after all that hard work, I was beaming. It was home sweet home, because I feel so so recharged being home for that half a day than I ever been for eons. Result of that? I am so looking forward to go home and see a nicely organised place :) * pictures of the cardboard kitchen can be found on FB. Well done too my dear husband, and thank you for giving in to your ever itchy backside wife who can never sit still :)

Interupted

My work got "interupted" by a very happy email. The husband sent me an email (with this picture attached) from the park (wonders of i-phone). He brought Janice there since it was his off day. They're having their father-daughter dates almost weekly, it was awww so sweet that I am half melted in the freezing air con :)

What I took back from today's Staff Devotion

Today at staff devotion, we had a guest speaker come and share with us as our Division leaders went away for a retreat. Just wanted to note it down so that I won't forget. He was sharing about his difficulties in ministry with the youths and how it is so challenging, not so much the youths but many times, their parents can really be a pain as well.

Amongst his sharing, he mentioned how a parent got upset with him cause he had to tell their child to step down from ministry cause his relationship with God wasn't going well and it was starting to reflect outwardly in his ministry. And he went to still apologize to the parent. He told us "I apologized not because I did something wrong to her son, but I apologized because I hurt them."

When I heard that, it really touched my heart to know that we don't apologize because of the action that we did, but instead for the reaction that was caused by the initial action (which might not be wrong in the first place). This was something that I want to hold onto in every area of my life; my relationship with God, my family, my friends and my ministry.

FireProofing Your Marriage - Commitment of a Life Time

Watched the movie 'Fireproof' last night with Yen and it was such a great reminder of how much we need each other and that no matter how tough times and situations can get; out is NEVER an option!

The movie really brought in so much truths about what a marriage is meant to be. Marriage in this time and age has reduced it's significance and standing in our society. People get married in the heat of passion and in the name of love and feelings. But there wasn't time to put the relationship to a test of heat and trials of commitment. And when tough times come, suddenly there isn't anymore passion, love and feelings for each other. Only the things that iritate you stands out so clearly about your spouse. Worst of all, a broken marriage not only affects the couple involved, but if they have kids, their upbringing would be somewhat incomplete and inbalanced.

Marriage is not just built upon the foundations of love and feelings. Marriage being such a tall and important structure in God's house, surely it requires God to be in the centre of it all, and also built upon the foundations of a covenant of being there for each other whether richer or poorer, health or sickness, good or bad time and till death do us part.

Just recently, there has been some marriages of my friends that I have heard about that were already broken and couples decided to throw in the towel; many are my age or slightly older. How painful that must be for them, leaving such a scar in each others' lives. And the word 'commitment' would never have the same definition in their lives again.

Media these days is not really helping people gain that definition either. Thus I realise that I must really be able to conduct myself with my family to be able to live out a life of commitment to God, my wife and family. May my life set the example for my youths to desire to imitate as I try with all my might to imitate the life of Christ.

Blowing Raspberries

It's a trying stage for me. Janice blows her food out all day long. I thought she's been there, done that, and over with that, BUT this phase is back! I end up with a baby with food all over her head, face, clothes ... highchair, floor, my face, table... you get the drfit all with her food. I feel defeated, tired by the end of each meal, especially in the evenings. The mess to clean up, and worried that she doesnt get enough and will keep waking up at night with hunger.

I think she's teething again, i think that was what happened the last time. I hope its a passing phase.

Thank God for a wonderful husband who shove me out of the door for a girly dinner night out with Cheryl and Sharon without the baby. He even attempted for the first time putting her to bed without me having to do my last milk feed. He succeeded, woohoo. I really needed some time out, without needing to feed through a difficult dinner. I even came back to a clean house, nice mopped floors. I am one lucky wife!

Happy Birthday Darling!

How could I even forget to mention this? My dear husband turned a year older than me a few days ago! We celebrated that day by looking after Janice after her allergic reaction saga, and on the actual day, he ran the whole Life group himself by chairing, worship leading, playing the guitar and teaching. So it was a rush in rush out. And all I could manage was a quick hug and kiss for him. That's one of the things why he is one of my greatest inspirer and encourager. He pushes on no matter what and have never placed himself above us, above his people and ministry too. God has done so much in His life over the years and through Him I have learnt to much too. I am glad I can call this man my husband, lover, and best buddy ever. Happy Birthday.

By the way, I wasn't that bad, thank goodness I managed a little surprise for him before all the saga, 2 days before his birthday. I baked (after so many months!) chocolate soeffle and it was yum! I forgot the pics tho. :)

Being a Mother

As I think back, I once again salute my mom. I remembered how her day used to be filled with activities for us (my 2 bros plus me), cooking, household chores (never-ending) and when everyone is unwinding in front of the TV after dinner, the ironing board is squeking as she irons our clothes. She is the first person I see in the morning, always ready with breakfast, and when we're all in bed, she is still packing up the house so that the next day will always be spic and span.

Here I am, groaning at the lack of sleep, and that my day (as in time for housework, ministry, etc) only starts after 9pm. Janice has been really good before and throughout our sleep. She used to be fed, contented and falls asleep on her own. But since she got back, nights have been quite a battle and her naps are also hap-hazzard.

I never thought much of what my mom has done except being tremendously grateful. But as I enter motherhood, I realised how much she has sacrificed her life for her kids. Thinking these help me put things into proper perspective, but I realised too that this pair of shoes is huge to fill!

Sometimes I still can't quite believe I am already a mother of a lovely daughter.

My Pillar of Strength

Kel is down with a pretty high fever. Poor thing, his usual 'gift' of hitting the pillows and falling asleep almost instantanously didn't seem to be existent when he needed it the most. All I heard and saw was him stirring and groaning every now and then, and each time when I whispered to him, he seems to be awake. Pray that he will get well soon.

What I realised over the past few hours, is how much he has been a pillar of strength to me all these while. So often I wallowed in my difficulties and he has been there to pick me up no matter how tired I know he is. I think this whole pregnancy hasn't been easy for him though I often saw it as me carrying the weight and he as a supporter. Never did I know that I have taken daily blessings for granted so often. Today happened to be a day where my leg kept cramping up and the nerve pains have been acting too. All these while, he will be there to massage and take over all that he can. Ever since the G.D. no matter how awfully bland my cooking tasted, just to suit my diet constraints now, he will insist how good the food tasted and how he is enjoying the healthy lifestyle. Each time my sugar level shoots up, he will be encouraging me that I am doing the right thing, and everyday reminding me to keep persevering. Its only been a few hours since he just practically knocked out, but I stood in the kitchen, cooking dinner, doing up the laundry, trying to prepare for shepherding, I realised how much I missed the support and saw how much I have taken his daily touch for granted!

Hope that he gets better soon, but I am glad he is forced into this opportunity to take the rest he deserves :)

The dad to be ....

Check out what the daddy to be was doing over the weekend :) He can't be more excited than this. This has to be blogged to show the little mok when she grows up.

Thoughts of the last lap

10 weeks to go ....

I have just spent the morning replying and sending out emails. I have flagged so many items on my inbox so that i will remember to look at them that i started i have overlooked so many other emails as well. This is what happens when you've just been through sick leave and public holidays. The throat is still hurting like crazy and coughing at night for a big pregnant belly means aching rib cage and totally disturbed sleep. A great training for sure.

Though a great weekend from the getaway, this week has been a whirlwind with the sickness and finding out a not too good blood test result which I will have to head in for further tests. Please pray for us that everything will turn out fine, especially for the little one! But all this jolted to me the need to be more watchful and disciplined in both my diet and exercise. Past 2 months have just been eating out/taking away alot. My used to be cooking almost everyday after work have been rather slackened to probably cooking once a week and having dinners out most of the time. Even if i cook, it's been just a "get-by" mentality and i think taste of food cooked have been just bleugh ... Swollen feet is an indication of lack of proper structured exercise time and rest. A note to self is to cook more (simple and healthy food) and squeeze in some structured exercise regime. I need the same kind of motivation as I would need to develop spiritual disciplines!

The last lap now, I am almost entering into my 30th Week pregnancy. The well-being of the little one almost is determined by me, my diet, my lifestyle (its been so right from the start). The responsibility that suddenly weighed so much. I felt so overwhelmed and the guilt of not 'trying my best' was so overwhelming as well. When I heard about the blood test, i wished i could have rewound the clock back some weeks rather be those extra cautious mom to be, watching the diet, exercising, rest etc. Thank God that He is still putting me back to His perspective. I got to learn to lean on Him more and not blow things out of proportion. Thank God too for a supportive husband who is unceasingly encouraging me despite His own worries too. He revealed yesterday that this whole pregnancy has been quite frightening and a learning curve for him too by taking up the support role. I can imagine how helpless he must have felt when I am in my panic modes or when I was just throwing up everything I took.

HIS Grace is more than sufficient for US. It is such grace where I can know that in OUR weakness, WE can say we're strong.

On a lighter note :)

The previous post may sound really 'heavy'. But hey, whoever who read it, don't get too worried. I am still ok :) Life's still good and I am enjoying the best part of pregnancy - Bonding with the little one inside. What's better is that Kel is having a great time talking and spending time with the little bub at night too. He read a bedtime story and she kicked and kicked. We caught a show (Get smart) the other night with Rach, totally hilarious and the bub seemed to enjoying herself too. that 2 hrs, she moved non stop and i even managed to feel this little bump as she pressed herself against the surface of my tummy. So ticklish.

Apart from that, i celebrated my 28th Birthday last week and is looking forward to a nice dinner with some of the girls in my unit tonight (can't wait, my tummy's howling and growling). I am putting on weight as predicted by all pregnancy books. I've lost my chin (i think) and the new hair cut is making my face look round. According to some friends, i waddle when i walk and sometimes the pain from my back, pelvis and legs keeps me awake at night.

We've been kept busy trying to source things for the bub (advice given by many moms are to get most things ready now before I get too BIG), shift things around the house to plan for the new arrival and for the next few weeks will be busy with outreach and students' orientation, then our units' getaway. Kel is also kep busy every night trying to get me into comfortable positions, stretching and massaging and getting me my night snacks of mostly milk and on one occasion, slices of cheese cut into heart shapes. Pictures below were taken after my trip to the hospital for the routined check up. Bub is growing well, and heartbeat is as steady as a horse gallop across the field.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday!
Originally uploaded by kelvin and chia yen

- CLICK ON THE PIC FOR MORE PHOTOS -
I made up the Birthday Celebration by bringing Kel to Redcliff and Scarborough area for lunch. It was his first time there and he loves it! The seafood teppanyaki was yummylicious and there was a seafood stall there that stocks heaps of nice seafood, only that because I couldn't eat and gobble all the raw stuff, we gave it a miss, promising each other that we'll be back :) that place was only about 30-40 mins drive away from where we live and there are so many nice quiet beaches, parks and picnic areas there. Open spaces, nice view and clear (cold) waters. We were so excited just talking how nice it would be if Ailing, James and Sophie were around and how we would really enjoy the company and how they would enjoy the relaxing atmosphere and open spaces. We enjoyed just watching little girls running to their daddies and how we're so looking forward to see our little one and promised to make it a point to bring our kid out to the outdoors and sunshine and not merely get 'sucked' into the routines since we both love outdoors so much. We took a short walk along the beach and the jetty, had ice cream and talked and talked. It was such a nice 3-4 hours spent.

A side note here ... Kel managaged to feel the little bub for his first time last night! He was soooo happy and wanted the little one to do more stints but she only decided to give daddy a little preview of herself :)

Happy Birthday Dearie!

It was Kel's Birthday yesterday and the sacrificial dad-to-be spent his Birthday (after a day @ work) at his first ever Pregnancy Physio Class helping his "whale-like" wifey! It was a 150 mins session right smacked at dinner time (6pm) and the starving wife prepared 4 slices of Nutella bread (Supposedly 2 slices each) to fill in before we actually can sit down for a proper meal. But the monster wife ate up the bread, and was still "moaning" (alongside with the hub of course) in hunger after the class. We headed to a nearby Italian cafe for what I would classify as a yummy dinner that was very reasonably priced (my full of clams vongole cost $14) and the home (chef) made balsamic vinegar olive oil that drizzled over most of my food that night was just divine! Not to mention the yum dried chilli olive oil too. It was our 2nd try at the restaurant (first time with the entertainment book voucher that offered a 1 for 1 main course) and we are still filled with the same reminiscing feel to it. We didn't manage any photos because we were too hungry, too tired and we forgot the camera anyway :)
Happy Birthday Dearie, sorry to have kept you up almost every night this week.