How can I keep from Singing

I've been struck by a series of events and crossroads over the past weeks. As decisions were made and things began to unfold, my heart began to be more at peace. Not that things got easier, I was in fact being confronted with truths about my life that requires change. Change in my attitudes and adjustments in my life. I need lots of help from the Holy Spirit and I was reminded of this song today. Through the day, different parts of the lyrics seem to echo and speak right into heart. So after work today, I swung by Trumpet Praise and made my (very rare) CD purchase. I came back and told the husband about the song, and funny thing was that he has been singing the same song too. God has been working this way quite often with us, affirming us with same lyrics, something very comforting to me and reminding me just how real he is. So the song is right, how can I keep from Singing when I know I stand on this rock?

How can I keep from Singing

There is this endless song

Echoes in my soul

I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come

I am holding on

To the rock I cling

Chorus:

How can I keep from singing Your praise

How can I ever say enough

How amazing is Your love

How can I keep from shouting Your name

I know I am loved by the King

And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes

In the darkest night

For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You

Knowing you'll see me through

And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times

Sing when I win

I can sing when I lose my step

And fall down again

I can sing 'cause You pick me up

Sing 'cause You're there

I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord

When I call to you in prayer

I can sing with my last breath

Sing for I know

That I'll sing with the angels

And the saints around the throne

Finally some updates ...

I haven’t updated our blog for ages, I’ve been very busy and most days, I’m left with little or no energy to blog. And when things accumulate, you sort of don’t know where to start. This morning, I thought I better do something about it, before I forget what happened in the past months.

March

We started church at COGS after much prayer and thoughts. They needed a youth worker and asked if Kel could go over. We decided with the move and after some transitions, moved over to COGS. We’re still adjusting and figuring out our new “home”. Kel also started his very intensive 9 month Inductive Bible Study class under School of Biblical Studies (SBS), YWAM. It is super intensive and ever since he started, he has been staying up till 3 am to do his work. It’s crazy, but God is really doing something new in his heart. So we (especially Kel) are excited of what is to come. He is soaked in the Word every day, and it’s scary sometimes because I feel that I am not catching up. But I guess it reflects how much I need to be in His presence and digging the Word more, and it’s a wake up call for me to pull my socks up. But I can tell, despite the lack of sleep and the stress, he is really enjoying this season.

We went for our first ever family holiday (my side) since I was 5. This time round, it was with all our other halves, and kids. So it was a troupe of 11 and we finally put our act together and booked ourselves tickets to Perth (since the budget air tickets were cheap). It was such a GOOOOD time. It was a combination of fun, and very relaxing. We stayed the bulk at Margaret River. The 3 kids played, ate and slept together. The house was gorgeous and we had kangaroos on our backyard! Not just 1 or 2, but a whole big group (what’s the collective term for kangaroos? Herd?) Every single day. We had BBQ, seafood, lots of steak, lamb, salads. So good. Did I say that I miss Australia? After a year back in Singapore, we think we can still call Australia Home! The space and the nice grass, the yummy olive dips, pasta … ok, I think I’ll need a separate post for that. I will try to upload some pictures.

3 days after we came back, on the 22^nd March, we received a call that my grandmother in Malaysia passed away. We packed our bags and travelled 7 hours to dad’s hometown for the funeral and the wake. Though it was a sudden lost, we knew she’s lived to a ripe old age of 90. It was also one of the rare times when we actually met up with cousins and distant relatives that we haven’t seen for ages, some for more than 20 years. It was a massive reunion, and I know Ah Ma had left quite a legacy. It was funny, because I said that we haven’t spent time together for a long time and we ended up spending 2 whole weeks together.

So in summary, March was a month I discovered more about my family, and I didn’t know that spending time with siblings could be so much fun.

April

Kel is still very busy with SBS. He is trying hard to still spend quality time with us, and has been doing well. Though I think he can do with more sleep. As for my work front, it’s been very stressful and tiring. March was in and out for me due to the traveling and unforeseen circumstances. I was heading up the fundraising dinner team and after the major event last week; I am still experiencing much after shocks and sleep depravity. I think a lot is going on in my head, home front, work, personal … and I need the space to process. The weeks leading up to the event (since March), I have also been staying up very late every night. I don’t do well with lack of sleep, so I’ve been grinding and clenching jaws, and easily irritable. All these are not very good signs.

Janice

She deserves a section! Janice has been a great traveler. With the recent 7 hrs trip up to Perak, Malaysia, we actually survived without turning on the DVD player! It’s a real feat J She has also been a lot stronger physically. But it takes quite a bit of efforts to make sure she eats healthily (at least 3 kinds of vegetables + protein for her dinners), supplementing with Chinese herbal soup. We’ve adjusted our schedules slightly, to head off to work earlier in the morning, and finishing earlier to come home (5 plus) so that it’s not so rush to cook, and we can spend more time with her, and putting her to bed before 9pm. Sometimes I wake up in the morning at 6ish to prepare parts of the dinner. This arrangement has worked out very well, and we are likely to stick to this. After the Australia trip, she’s grown so much in maturity and understanding. It’s amazing. We’re really enjoying this season. I hope I can update more about Janice soon. She’s turning 2.5 years end of this month. She sings, chat, and make up conversations and stories for hours. She’s full of energy, expressive and affectionate.

About the Dad ...

One of the highlights working for Focus on the Family was to witness very touching moments. We had a Date with Dad over the weekend and it was so heart warming to see fathers and daughters catching up, tearing over conversations, writing letters to affirm each other and ending with a pledge from the father to the daughter before presenting the daughter with the “Worth the Wait” ring. I believe it was a very defining moment. Fathers are often not fantastic with words while on the other hand, daugthers will like to hold the perception that their fathers do not understand them.

I guess I come from a point of view of someone who stands between the X and Y generation. I see many old ways that need to be changed for the better yet still living in the nagging norms of a slightly more traditional upbringing. I grew up with the understanding that dads provide the bread. There is no need to really spend time with the wife or kids. Home on the other hand is for the moms to run. I knew my dad as a responsible man, and have vague memories of a couple of occasions of his soft hands of affirmation. It was sometime of recent that I began to understand the impact of my lack of father daughter relationship and some negative consequences from that. By the way, I do not hold any grudges against my dad, but one thing I recognised is that the daughters yearning heart for the dad’s approval is real even till this day. I am learning to translate my own experience to hopefully parent my daugther (and hopefully children to come) better, whilst reallly seeking God for His infinite wisdom. To qualify, I do not think that I grew up under “bad” parenting, and there are so much wisdom I could get from the way my parents brought me up, and that deserves other entries on.

I am super blessed to have a husband who believes and is willing to sow into the daughter’s life. In the times I struggle to release him to the marketplace(or rather his place of work) and make his mark (while yearning for him to spend more time to see the actual growth of our little one) he assures me that he chose his path today because he wanted to be part of the everyday life of the family. I bear the genes of a sinful carnal man, and I struggle every now and then when my mom would nag at me for us (the husband and I) to find better paying jobs etc. and often I found it hard not to entertain the enticing thought of being part of the bigger rat race of striving for MORE. To date, I am still in the process of being moulded by God, to stand secure at His call and provision. And to shout out that I will not be in lack, not physically, not in wisdom (especially in parenting), not emotionally (He can fill me with joy and great satisfaction in life)

Since love is also in the air today, being Valentine’s Day, I ought to do something that I seldom do. To affirm my dear husband as a father and a lover. I think I have wasted countless golden opportunities to critisize instead of affirm. The kitchen not cleaned, clothes not washed, what? You forgot to wash the vegetables before you cooked for janice?? Etc etc. On many occasions, it may have seemed that I still trust my earthly dad more than my very own husband’s judgment calls, I know I have come a long way to learn to acknowledge and trust the man of my household.

Someone told me, that its hard to be fathers of this generation. They have so many different hats to wear and honestly multi-tasking is not their flair. But I salute to you my dear husband, for the times you've sacrificed yourself for us. For how you hung on and lead me in the way that you think God is calling us to. To affirm me when I am lost and confused. For waking up for the little one. For being very generous with your hugs to her (and me). For bring us out (individually) on dates. For teaching me to see beyond material things. For never insisting which should be a “mothers’ role” and not the dad’s role, besides breast feeding, you attempt everything. For the many things you think you have done a lousy job, but I would like to tell you that you’ve got yourself in the right foot, so hang in there. I can’t wait for you to bring the little princess out for a real real date, but meanwhile, you’re doing great. And watching (hearing) you guys depart on your bicycle for a ride warms me up and never fail to make me smile.

Happy Valentines’ Day my dear.

p.s. Janice, I hope you'll read this when you grow up and that you'll always know of your father's love, both your earthly and spiritual dads.

Looking at these happy pumpkins makes me happy too!!

Janice @ 27 Months

{long post ahead *BEWARE}

I was amazed this morning that I have to document this conversation down:

I was doing the dishes in the kitchen when I realised that there was a cup that was still in my handbag that needed to be washed. I called out to you (Janice) a couple of times. You were watching TV then, and I could only see a little part of your head seated somewhere in front of the sofa.

Me: Janice, Janice, I need a favor from you.

Janice: Huh?

Me: Can you go to mummy's bag and find me the purple cup please.

Janice: [stood up and started looking around]

Me: My bag's near the sofa, darling.

Janice: [found my bag and started rummaging through it] Where mummy?

Me: Bring my bag here, I will tell you where to find it.

Janice: [dragged my bag into the kitchen]

Me: It's in the bag, can you see it?

Janice: Oh yes!! Here mummy ... [took out the cup and handed to my soapy hands]

Me: Thanks Darling, you're so helpful. Can you put the bag to where it was just now?

Janice: Yes! [Picked the bag up from the floor and went back to where it was. Left the bag there and sat back to her original position in front of the TV]

Me: Thanks baby! [I shouted from the kitchen]

Janice: [Mutters]

I can't believe that my baby's really not a baby anymore!

It was then I realized I really haven't been documenting for a long time. It has been an incredible journey with you, little pumpkin. I am loving having small conversations with you, and there are just so much to talk about, that I don't know where to start. So I will try to be systematic here:

Physical:

Weight: 12.5kg

Height: 86cm

I know the details so well because you've been going to the doctors so often. Over this whole year, you've fallen quite sick a number of times with scary high temperatures. It's really making me re-think about your childcare arrangements and how best daddy and I can adjust our lives. We are still in the praying and considering process. There are people we need to talk to and discuss, so hold on little pumpkin :)

Motor skills:

You are not as "chiong" as I thought you would be. Though you were really active in my womb, you turned out to be a pretty cautious person, calculative at taking risk. So besides jumping on the sofa, you are pretty mild, and hardly run around when we are out. [Thank God!]

Social:

Rather shy initially, but you have really warmed up with some of the people that mummy and daddy often hang out with. You favorite people in the world (besides us!) are your grandparents, your GUGU, cousins, and CowFus Cum Mow, Godma and Uncle Jasper, and the auntie, uncles in our Wednesday cell. You've also been naming all your friends in school and our nightly routine of praying for people has to include your friends. We pray that you will be a blessing, and tell people about the goodness of God.

Language:

You understand both mandarin and english pretty well, though you answer mostly in english. We can now hold small conversations, which is great. You have been able to express quite to us and have been singing songs unaided, including Chinese songs (I'm impressed).

Sleeping:

Yay, we are happy to have you fully sleep trained on 1st Jan. We used to need to stay in the room till you fall asleep, but nowadays, we just have to spend about 10-15 mins with you in the room, pray, turn off the lights and kiss you good night. We discovered, you actually like to sleep in (Can you tell how secretly happy I am? *Grinz - it means I get to sleep in on Saturdays too) Woo Hoo! You've been excellent, and we aren't the only ones who can get you to bed this way, whoever's looking after does the same, take you to the room, talk to you and kiss you good night and leave. Thank God!

Favorite Activities:

Drawing, doodling, painting, drawing dots and circles (arrgh sometimes very frustrating because the ink goes so fast!) and playing with your doll house.

Discipline:

You're quite stuck to a routine, which is really good and predictable. When you do act up, going to a corner usually works. Our last warning will be a smack on your hand with the wooden spoon. We're glad that we hardly have to resort to that. You do push your boundaries, but I guess its a good sign that you are growing in your independence, and we pray daily for wisdom to know how to release you and pull you back accordingly.

Others:

Elephant memory is what you've got sometimes :)

Nuff said. You've been a great kiddo. Spending time with you has been the most rewarding thing ever. Its my daily prayer that I can channel my concerns and anxiety in parenting to God, and learn to trust Him for your well being. I thank God everyday for you, little pumpkin.

Love Mummy.

60 more days

60 more days, and I will be here:

I can't wait. I have in mind the 3 kids playing and running around. Slow walks along the beach. BBQ fresh prawns and steak. Lots of steak. Curled up with a good book and NOTEBOOK and REAL LIVING magazines. It's going to be a big family holiday with 7 adults and 3 kids traveling, and though I am a little apprehensive because I haven't had such a family holiday before (the I had the entire family from my side going on a holiday together was when I was 5 or 6) I hope that life will slow down for that week. It gotta be, with 6 nights at such a place. Dream, oh how I wish I could turn the clock faster. Anyone been to the Margaret River region before? Suggestions on places to eat/visit?

Sunset Ocean Views To Yallingup

Enjoy the harmonious blends of ocean & valley vistas mixed with all the mod cons from this 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom spacious home with home theatre set on rural acreage in Yallingup. Spend languorous days captivated by the astounding panorama of the rolling green hills of Mt Duckworth all the way to the inviting blue waters of Yallingup, & in the evenings there's an abundance of room for the family to spread out.

Superb ocean views will allow you to gaze out into the endless ocean all day long & you will see some of the most magnificent sunsets imagined in this amazing elevated position.

The spacious open living / dining / kitchen area really takes advantage of the fantastic view through large glass windows and doors that lead out to the large entertaining alfresco with bar.

A comfortable lounge suite, large dining table, flat screen TV, slow combustion wood fire, down lights & beautiful timber floors feature in the open living area.

The kitchen boasts a huge island bench & quality stainless steel appliances including gas stove, oven & dishwasher that will enable the chef to prepare the next meal with ease.

The home theatre is ideal to watch a family movie together or just the place for the kids to play.

The main bedroom is double sized with walk-in robe & luxurious ensuite with spa bath & his & hers vanity; the minor bedrooms have built in robes, one with queen bed, two with three single beds in each.

An outdoor shower, garage & plenty of parking add to the features of this superb home.

Minimal traffic around this exclusive rural address attracts wildlife to your doorstep, and spectacular bush and oceans views make you feel right at home with the tranquil setting.

Located nearby to Petra Olive Café, Yallingup Wood Fired Bread House & Art Galleries and only a short drive to Yallingup beaches & to central Dunsborough, this location is sure to please

Date with Dad 2011

Meal times

Quite a number of people have been asking me how our meals are settled, and what I cook for the toddler. As we transited into our new place, one of the things I had to pick up once again was cooking for the family. Though it isn't something entirely new to me since I've done it for so many years in Australia, working full time in Singapore did become tad bit challenging since I no longer end work at 5pm (and as compared to 1 year+ ago in Australia, Janice no longer eats pre prepared puree that was frozen and reheated.

Since I realised that cooking meals for the family that includes a toddler, without helper at home and working full time is not too common, I thought I could blog down some simple routines and recipes. Recipes has to be pretty simple and fast since there is a toddler, hence meals have to be done before 7pm so that she doesn't "faint" of starvation, and also because we want some time to wind down and have her in bed before 9pm.

I would also need to give credit to a very supportive husband who firstly do not mind simple, healthy meals; and helps out to clean after meals, without fail. Then there is also my mom who is always ready to appear at my place with a spread of food every now and then which gives me tremendous respite, because her version of 1 meal can often last us 3-4 meals!

So here goes, I hope to be as coherent as I can be:

When cooking for the family:

Defrost meat in the fridge the night before

Morning:

Put the meat (e.g. Chicken) with some chopped veges/potatoes/black fungus/chinese mushrooms into the pot for stew. I use a thermos shuttle chef, so I will only need to quick boil is for 15mins (which during the time I can take my morning shower) and put it into the warmer. This way is super efficient for me because you come home to a pot of (still nice and hot) stew. My shuttle chef can contain 2 pots, so I can also cook a pot of soup (be it some old cucumber pork soup, radish, lotus root, variety of herbal soup) at the same time. So we come home to 2 pots of yummy stuffs.

This method has worked for me for its efficiency and you can have a huge variety of different stews depending on what you have in the fridge.

Sometimes I just marinate the meat and come back and steam/stir fry.

I set my rice cooker to cook rice the rice by 6pm. I usually throw in either pumpkin or sweet potato into the rice for added taste (Janice loves that, esp pumpkin(. And oh, have I mentioned that we have also switched to eating the healthier and yummier (in my opinion) unpolished rice.

I make it a point to finish work at 6pm and zip home by 6.30pm(I drive while Kelvin will pick Janice up from Childcare riding a bicylce, or they take a stroll with J in the stroller)

Once I get home, I will take out the portion of fish fillet (Usually Cod, threadfin, Salmon) and either steam it or throw it in the toaster oven with either soya sauce and ginger, or teriyaki sauce, or salt and pepper. Its very fast. The portion is usually a single portion enough for Janice, so it takes about 6-7 mins of steaming, or 10 mins in the toaster.

Meanwhile, I will also chop up a variety of vegetables and either stir fry or steam. I think I steam more often than anything because its cleaner and healthier. Vegetables range from Broccoli, cauliflower, baby corn, , Chinese/English Spinach or any green leafy vegetables, french beans... I will try as far as possible to have at least 2 kinds of vegies and the all time fave combi is Broccoli and Cauliflower. Janice normally has them just steamed and mixed into her rice (that already has the pumpkin or sweet potatoes) and we will have ours tossed in pre-made fried onions and some seasoning.

Dinner should be ready by 7pm. Janice will eat first while daddy washes up the pots, and we will have our dinner at around 7.30pm while Janice plays around the us.

The stews normally last Kel and I for 2 days, so with the other alternate days, I don't have to prepare anything in the morning, just set the rice cooker to cook the rice, and come home for the fish and vegetables. Sometimes I steam minced pork with stuffs like Zucchini.

When I visit the market (usually alternate weeks - I can buy the vege along the way in NTUC), the rule is simple: Vegetables with a variety of colors and I like veges that keeps longer); Meat wise I go for fool proof Kampung Chicken Thighs, Pork ribs that can be used for steaming, tender lean pork and Chicken rib cage that comes with either breast meat or meat on the back (for soup). Fish I will ask the fishmonger to go for larger fish so that bones are minimal and portion them into small portions enough for Janice (around 6x3cm) fillets. Occasionally I will buy a whole fish for the entire family. Meat and fish, I buy enough for at least 2 weeks. Everything will be packed into portions before I freeze them.

As you can see, everything runs pretty much clockwork because I don't usually have time for frills. 6-7pm every evening is my critical time. Therefore, as you can see, there aren't any photos of the food I cook, which I will try to take some to document it, so that the recipes make more sense. Ok, I must also admit that my recipes are not much of a recipe because there are no instructions. So before I find time to document recipe by recipe, if you have any questions, just drop me an email (or comment).

Though it is tiring at times, but it has been awesome to have family bonding time through meals at home, and knowing that it is tasty with healthy goodness is an added bonus :)

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

We have been very blessed with the goodness and faithfulness of God. We look back at 2010 with gratitude for all He has provided us with. Transition back to Singapore has been challenging at times but we are amazed at the distance God has brought us through this year. Without the family support, friendship, Church and prayers, we wouldn't have been where we are today. So thank you, for all who are reading this. You have been awesome.

We pray that your Christmas this year will also be filled with the gratitude and thanksgiving; and His deep love for us. Most importantly, you will be filled with the hope for what is ahead, because we have received the best gift of His son Jesus Christ, and through Him we may have hope and an abundant life.

Merry Christmas, from the 3 of us. 2011 here we come :)

A Mental Note to Self on TODAY

TODAY, I peered over my shoulders

And saw how envy eats my security away

TODAY,, I found the liberation

When I claim the unique plan God has coming my way

TODAY,, I realized the power of praise

Allows the Holy Spirit to have much of His Say

TODAY,, I chose to look ahead

By focusing my moment in Him everyday