Being domestic

9 months back in Singapore, I miss being domestic most!

I was used to a life where I did most meals home cooked. Past few months have been nomadic, though I have enjoyed home cooked meals at mom’s place, but to me, meal time is one of my important avenues to build a family culture. Without having meals at home, I feel some what displaced and cannot orientate my life properly. I feel the lack of space and opportunity for that magical connection that can take place, with my hubby, my kid (hopefully will turn plural in time to come).

I actually look forward to rush home from work so that I can whip a meal so that our little family can unwind over the dinner table. Nothing spectacular, just a nice simple warm meal. Thereafter, I think we can be re-energised, be it spending some quality family time or catch up some work or head off for ministering/meetings.

This, I hope will be in near future. I can’t wait to move into our new place. To gratify myself a little, I decided to pen down what I usually need in my little pantry.

What should be in my pantry:

Oil

- normal cooking oil (canola)

- olive oil

- grape seed oil

- sesame oil

Chinese sauces

- light soya

- dark soya

- vinegar

- Chinese cooking wine

- Steam fish soya sauce

Others:

- balsamic vinegar

- tomato paste

- white/red wine when needed

- seasoning herbs – Rosemary, thyme, basil and parsley

- stand-by udon/egg noodles; dried pasta

- onions

- garlic

In the fridge:

- olive butter

- Goma salad dressing

- Fresh herbs will be nice

- Sambal chili

- Eggs

- Pre chopped up garlic (do up in batches)

Freezer:

All pre packed into portions

- bones for soup

- lean pork

- chicken thighs with and without bones

- mince beef

- fish (portioned) – either cross section cut up, big fish tail

Vegetables and fruits on the go

Unashamed-Starfield Lyrics

Marriage thoughts 1.1

Got a mail from a friend sharing us with this link. Very timely and appropriate.

One of the toughest thing being parents is to keep the marriage, fresh, passionate, and purposeful. I saw how some some families could put their entire energy to revolve life around children, But I also believe that the greatest gift any parent could give to their children is their love for one another. But any couples would agree with me that as much as it require great efforts to make marriage thrive, it takes doubly hard work when kids come along. In the past, if the schedule ever gets to choking for us to handle, we can always just take a day off from work and spend some time with each other, sleep in, breakfast by the beach, dip our feet in the cool waters and catch a late show. Spend the day just talking and catching up. Most times, taking a breather together helps put things back i place. These days, I take an organised "off day" very seriously, careful planning, but at the same time taking things with a pinch of salt, because unplanned things can always happen. Take last week for example, Janice fell sick on 1st Sept, a day I planned to spend some unhurried time with both the husband and daughter. Instead, we spent half a day in the clinic, and the other half a day, fighting a war. Oh and the last time we took a Fri Night/Saturday morning off, to sleep in and sneak off like dating couples for a breakfast whilst Janice spends the night with my mom, only to receive a dozen calls saying she's got fever. So nowadays, either one of us will be sick, just taking turns and to what extent.

Rough patches are inevitable to keep us sharpening each other, and each day, we strive better to be for each other. All in all, marriage (and parenting) teaches us to be less of ourselves and more for others on a daily basis. How we relate and love each other on a day to day basis becomes so important! Walk the talk daily, and I mean literally talk. Communicate, share and be truthful about our feelings. I hope I can give an 18 pointers one day, but my 3 pointers for my personal reminders are:

1. Do not assume the motivation of the husband's based on the outward action/speech - Give benefit of the doubt first
2. Always Respect
3. Learn to forgive and be generous to love

Grace’s 18 Lessons

1. Make time with Jesus your first priority, husband second priority.
2. Be intimate often.
3. Be willing to have hard and honest conversations, and pray for Jesus to make them fruitful.
4. Pray for wisdom often.
5. The enemy is always ready to divide you during trials. Don’t let him; cling to Jesus and each other.
6. Forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive …
7. Don’t enable his sin, but pray for wisdom in timing and words, and be respectful when addressing it.
8. Be a woman of inner and outer beauty.
9. Make your home a place of retreat and rest.
10. Study your husband, appreciate, value and respect him, especially when you don’t “feel” like it.
11. HAVE FUN.
12. Pray against lies. Memorize the truth of scripture.
13. Spend regular, meaningful time together. Invest in the relationship.
14. Don’t let bitterness set in if you are hurt or frustrated; dig up the root and pray it through.
15. Be an attentive and available listener.
16. Be teachable and willing to submit.
17. Set your heart and body toward your husband and don’t let either wander.
18. Repent often and allow trustworthy people to speak into your lives.

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Pastor Mark’s 18 lessons after the jump:

Pastor Mark’s 18 Lessons

Spiritual

1. Stay in church community and under godly authority.
2. Stay in your Bible and always have at least a few good Christian books you are reading.
3. Be the spiritual leader by praying with your family, modeling followership of Jesus, repenting of sin, teaching your family, etc.
4. Serve your family and serve others as a family.

Family

5. Pick a good potential mom and grandma for a wife.
6. If she respects you, the kids will too. If she does not, your family will be a grief to you.
7. Work with her to make the home, holidays, vacations, and other times filled with fun, laughter, and memories.
8. Just get through the rough seasons (sickness, demanding newborns, tough work seasons, extended family troubles, e.g.) by God’s grace.

Financial

9. Find an honest way to make enough money to give to God, be generous with others, and take care of your family.
10. Spend some money to make her life easier (dependable car, babysitting help, decent home, e.g.)

Practical

11. Try to make her laugh a lot and touch her heart and soul before you touch her body.
12. She’s not a guy, does not want to be treated like a guy, spoken to like a guy, or do what guys do.
13. She will sanctify you. It’s not her fault that your sin is obvious in relationship with her as she’s not changing you, but rather exposing you.
14. Syncing schedules is key: meet every week to organize your life together and plan out your life as one so you don’t live parallel lives.
15. Date night is important so make it happen, ideally every week.
16. Her needs change, especially when she becomes a mother, so look for new ways to humbly serve her.
17. Encouragement is to a wife as water is to a plant.
18. Every year gets better by the grace of God. Keep pressing forward together using the gospel to repent, forgive, and become more like Jesus.

Source: http://blog.marshillchurch.org/2010/08/15/18-lessons-from-18-years-of-marriage/

Staying Home

With Janice still recovering from Influenza, I've been home a lot. Working off my laptop, spending some really good time with the little princess. It's actually very nice, and I am starting to get the hang of the ad hoc hours that I can grab while she's napping. Sometimes, squeezing some flow charts out whilst she gets herself entertained by the I-Phone.

The funny thing I realized, ideas are coming, some work actually gets done. I am really enjoying it, except that it is baking hot in my mom's place. With the split multiple levels, it's hard to be at the kitchen, watching her play, catch some emails all at one time. I can't wait to move into our new place. I so love smaller apartments (flats) where multiple activities can take place at one glance. Please God, let October come soon please!

I thank God for some flexibility at my work place, who puts priority in family, and strongly propagate a trust culture. So I do get some glimpse of working from home and I certainly look forward to a new job arrangement when I do move into our own little nest, so stay tune!

Conversations with Janice

Daddy: Who’s daddy’s favorite?

Janice: Momma and Janice!

*Awwwww

Janice: (Pointing to my bag) Momma’s bag!

Me: yah, it’s my bag

Janice: Open! Please ….

Me: Why? No need to open la …

Janice: Open! Please …. I want momma’s phone (flashed a very sweet and angelic smile)

*power of I-phone

Janice: I want milk ….

Me: Sorry darling, I didn’t bring it out

Janice: (pouts) its milk milk time ….

Me: (checks the watch, it’s 9pm, it’s really her milk time) Uh oh ….

2 years less 2 months

Writing about you darling is one of the things that is keeping this blog alive at the moment. Our recent weeks have been completely filled with visits from friends, getting ready for our new place, church ministry and basically living like a nomad shuttling between 2 residences. But I am really looking forward to move to our own place pretty soon and provide you with a little more stability. I must say you have been extremely good these days, very happy to be home, happy to be staying over at “popo’s” place, happy to be out. There will be instances when you spent the entire day out and would request that you want to go back to popo’s place. Very cute J Well at least I know that perhaps you won’t be the “cheong cheong” sort la and would know when to come home, to know that home will always be your refuge, a place where you can unload your burdens and know that you will always be accepted. We love you so much baby.

Your recent developments:

You take great ownership in your possessions and would make sure we guard all our items. Dad’s bag needs to be held by dad, mom’s drink only drank by mom, in a particular cup etc. I think it’s a passing phase, sometimes its funny but sometimes I pull my hair J one interesting to note is that you observe the tiniest details, yah, down to that extra rim around the cup

You express yourself quite well. Though you don’t speak a thousand words, but you somehow manage the one or two couple with some sentences, pointing and nodding

You still love to say “I don’t want”

You love the time before bedtime as long as you get both mom and dad (You also make sure that there’re no other “intruders”)

You eat very well after a nap, all by yourself. So well that even food court aunties gather around to ask how old you are. Very strange, because it looked a little like “feeding time” minus the photo-taking.

Janice, you’ve become one very affection little girl that many look forward to spend time with you. The way you beam to your “cow fool: (uncle) and your eagerness to be with your little friends and cousins is endearing. My prayer to God is for His wisdom to guide you through your strengths and weaknesses, so that you can have the full freedom to be who you are and the person God has called you to be.

It’s always refreshing to see you daily, in this age where there’s no pretence. Your child-likeness that allows you to trust those whom you know love you dearly. You wide eyed wonder in your expression that tells me things in life intrigues you daily.

I love you my little pumpkin. Happy 22 months!

Love Momma

21 Months

My dearest Chuppachupps,

I am terribly late at this post since you turned 21 months a week ago. 3 more months you will turn 2! Another milestone for you and another reason for us to celebrate God’s gift to us – You!

You celebrated the day you turned 21 months with your very very good friend, Alicia. It was so much fun for us to watch both of you shopping and communicating in your own ways. You definitely had heaps more fun playing with her this time round as compared to 8 months ago and it just shows how much you have grown!

This month, you’ve started stringing words into clearer sentences. Mostly to express what you want or not want. Like “I want noodles, I want mama and daddy” and “I don’t want” It’s been funny hearing you count too, because instead of 1,2, 3 … or sometimes accidentally skipping some numbers in the past, you’ve started counting like this: pointing up to the starts you started “twooo, fourrr, shix, eight, TEN”

You shocked both daddy and me one day when you actually remembered a shop when you’ve beePublish Postn in it once. You remembered that the shop is 2 levels (though you can’t see the stairs at the doorway) because the moment you entered in, you said “upstairs” and “chey chey” because you remembered going to the shop with Alicia and you two had great fun shopping and trying on bags in the shop.

You are also very assertive in expressing your desires, something that both daddy and me are trying to discipline ourselves to be consistent in teaching you good attitudes and control. Sometimes we get lazy and give in to you.

You’ve been a real fun companion especially when we go out together over the weekends. Your cheekiness and funny personality cracks us up all the time. You’ve been a lot more independent by eating your meals yourself when you’re out (we still have to supervise you since you’d often end up playing with your food) but you generally very good.

You fell quite sick this month, worst case of fever you ever had but we pray that all these will only make you stronger. Your ability to stay cheerful and happy through the time you were having fever really made us

Thank God for making you such a tough little one. We were definitely less stressed because of your cheerful deposition.

You’ve also grown to like prayer. Each time we pray, you will put down everything (or make us hold whatever items that were originally in your hands) so that you have clasp them together and bow your head. We pray that you will be a prayer warrior, and to find rest, purpose and satisfaction in His presence through prayer.

I love you little pumpkin,

Mummy

Aftershock - A movie review

We were offered free tickets to the sneak preview of “Aftershock” (thus I had to write a review) because it was mentioned as a film that portrayed strong family values. The impact of the film went beyond expectations. 2^nd day after the show, the scenes are still replayed and emotions still lingers.

The movie, a tear-jerker about a family torn apart by the 1976 Tangshan earthquake and reunited years later in the aftermath of the 2008 Sichuan earthquake. A story of choices, regrets and trauma, the story gripped the audience with the reality of natural disasters and touched the hearts with anguish, love and sacrifices.

Yuan Ni lost her husband and lover when he dashed into the building to save their twins. In the chaotic scene, the twins were found under the same debris and Yuan Ni was left with a choice to save only one. Her words to save the younger brother crushed both her heart and her daughter, Deng’s for the next 32 years.

Unknown to Yuan Ni, Deng survived the ordeal and was later adopted. Though separated, both mother and daughter were plagued not by the horrors of the disaster but by lost, regrets and unforgiveness. 32 years down, 2008 Sichuan earthquake reunited Deng and her brother, both due to their own experience put down everything to volunteer as rescuers. It took this major disaster that eventually reunited the family again.

“Aftershock” is a powerful movie that captured scenes that can strike deep in the viewers’ hearts. Family and love were reflected not through the usual sacrifices for one another but amplified itself through the crevices of hearts that were shattered - A mother’s love that would carry the burdens of her children, dead or alive; the fragility of lives at the mercy of disasters; the loyalty between husbands and wives despite the harshest conditions; the power of letting go and forgiveness. Not many words were used but the director painted each scene that speaks a thousand words.

Though the disaster scenes may not be the most realistic, the tightness of the storyline did not leave much space to dwell on that. The movie was not exaggerated into a soapy drama, but there were countless scenes that tears and sniffles were not spared. It was a heartfelt movie, powerful and emotional. The stories of love, family and relationships, you will grieve with them, and be encouraged and uplifted with them too.

The "NUGGET" of truth

The truth is this: I think Janice has more of Kel's genes than mine. The nugget on Sunday spoke it all. See right, I was pretty flat out over the weekend, so I presented Janice with a plate of Ikea nuggets and chips for dinner. She "wowed" and went on to give the biggest grin after a bite on the nugget. What a contrast to her scrunched up face when she tasted my carrot and celery juice!

The 20 months old chuppachupps

Yes you are the little chuppachupps because you're such a sweetie my darling. You turned 20 months yesterday and the past few months, you've really learnt to shower both daddy and I with your sweetness.
You're full of kisses and cuddles; Each day when I return back from work, your sparkles makes me feel like the luckiest mom around. One endearing thing this month is that you've learnt to shout for daddy at night instead of just crying out for me. You still do, but most times, you call out with such want for daddy that made him ever ready to go to you when you do cry at night. I get my sleep this way and daddy really got his love tank filled up! :)
One quality I've noticed is your keen ability to observe. Be it observe the emotional climate of people around or observe before you make you move to befriend others. Also you're able to observe before you pick up a toy or puzzle so you get a hang of it pretty quickly.
Lately the naugthy corner has been introduced in a more consistent way. Though you've tried to pushed you boundaries, naughty corner has been an effective way to help you learn to listen to instructions.
Each day is passing by too quickly and I miss you when I am at work too. I wonder many times if I am doing enough for you, but watching you grow in independence both emotionally and physically brings joy to me.
I love you darling, and I pray for God to be more real to you each and everyday.