I was prompted to go for the healing service yesterday evening. I haven't gone for it in a while and the husband was surprised and supportive at the same time, asked why the sudden decision. I wasn't sure, just felt to go and I went. I have been on radiation for the past 4 days and for the past 2 weeks, I have been coughing at night quite a fair bit. It's always this "cackling" noise when I take a deep breath and I have the urge to cough things out, phlegm or whatever that is causing those noises that makes me feel that I am drowning. So as I went for the healing service, I envisioned this super healing power of God, that perhaps God will heal me there and then and I might cough this humongous black rock out and voila, tumor gone. This was driven by the sheer frustration by that "thing" that has temporally been residing in my lung, it's not supposed to be there.
Interestingly I stepped into healing service to hear this message based on 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 preached by Pastor Stanley. 3 times Paul pleaded with the Lord, for the thorn to be removed from him, and the word given to Him is that the Grace of God is more than sufficient for him. Often I've focused on verse 8 about God's grace, but last evening I shared Paul's agony of the thorn, and I believe I have pleaded to God more than 3 times for Him to take it away. Paul of all people would have faith to believe, THE faith to trust in God's miraculous power. Surely God, isn't that enough? However the focus was not upon how easily God could have substituted pain, but how He transforms.
Therefore I am once again resolving my heart the 3 pointers through Paul's experience:
1. Let the thorn drive me to prayer
(I was reminded today that it's not just prayer of human words, but to learn to pray in the Spirit. After all, the spirit knows better, and the ultimate purpose of prayer is not answered prayer but sanctification to Christ likeness)
2. Let the thorn drive me to His grace
Over and over again, I have been reminded of the Father's heart. I think I am getting it a bit more each day. Slowly but surely
3. Let the thorn drive me to praise and not disillusionment
It's easy to feel bitter, and sometimes I do feel that I am loitering in the desert. Daily thanksgiving is not always natural and is often a repeated decision making. But thoughts are so powerful, and that decision to turn away from negativity means sowing into the pleasures of the Holy Spirit instead of putting out the Spirit of God like extinguishing a fire. That split second of obedience like that mentioned in Philippians 4:8 brings praise. There is power in praise.
Thank you holy spirit for moving me to the healing service and the teaching of "life in the spirit" at Church today. You are good, and my soul knows very well.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
The thorn
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2 comments:
thanks for sharing, Yen.
i still find this message hard to swallow cos i keep expecting God, who is love, to take away the sickness and pain since it's not His will for His children to suffer.
but then there is the thought that perhaps there is something even better than just getting well or having my prayer answered the way i want it to be.
the life transformation you speak of. i guess it's about accepting that God knows the transformation greatly surpasses us just being whole on the outside since the body is a shell after all. and then letting go and anticipating...
challenging. mmm...
Hey Yen,
Just want to encourage you that although healing and full recovery and the absence of pain is the best case scenario in our very limited human eyes, i also believe that God has put certain situations for the better of his kingdom.
Even in your circumstance can his name be lifted high and i believe that he already has. He can use you in your circumstance and touch peoples lives, he brings friends and family closer and I believe even in your state that you have encouraged many many people with your faith and until the day where your healing is complete, i pray that God will use you in your circumstance to touch lives ever so much more.
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