Janice my little darling

My dearest little darling, today marks your 3rd month birthday. It has been sometime that we have spent together getting to know more of each other. It seems there is always more to learn and know about you! You are developing each day more and more; more sounds, actions and even demands.

Tonight was a slight scare as you did not fall into your deep sleep after mummy fed you as per the usual nights. But am glad that you are sleeping soundly to your fav music Cannon in D (determined by me) haha. Well, since you don't really have much choice of music right now, I'll call the shots :)

There has been so many nights when i picked you up still in my sleepy mode and I must have scared you with that black face. I kept telling myself it is not easy being you too. And I am still trying to adapt to the fact that I won't have a 6hr sleep for a long time to come. But at the same time still being able to give you the attention and care you deserve in the wee hours of the night. Those are many a times the hardest for me, but in that I am still learning to be patient with different nights that you are going to surprise me with. :)

Regardless of all the lesser sleep and loud cries, I know that you are truly the greatest gift God has ever given and placed in my life. I am still looking forward to the days that I could push you in your pram during my runs and also on the bike with me.

HAPPY 3rd Month Birthday!!!

LOVING YOU LOTS!!!!

3 months ...

Hmm I can't seem to figure out why the photo is rotated this way ....

My little squirmy girl,

You've turned 3 months (13 weeks) as of today and I'm so glad you can be celebrating this with your extended family who loves you to bits. You've grown so much over the past month, the way you respond and babble non stop tickles us. Daddy is definitely enjoying your company since he normally has to work in the weekdays and with this 3 weeks break in Singapore, it's such a great time for us to bond together as a family. Such times are so precious and though daddy and I both agree that we can no longer do what we want to do during holidays (i.e. stay out late with friends, sleep in, shop non stop, eat out at hawker centers all the time etc.) We won't trade off this time spent with you. It has helped us to sort of slow down our agenda for once and just enjoy ourselves being together.

This month I saw how you broke out of your fear. We brought you to a place where you could swim with a little float, especially for young babies. (see picture) You cried when we put you in the tub initially and you clung on to my fingers as if they were your life savers. I even felt bad that I had to put you through such an "ordeal" and just as I was going to give up, you started relaxing and attempted to kick. As you were doing so, you realised that things were ok and before I know it, you were on your own kicking and smiling. When we brought you there again today, you even chuckled and had no fear when we put you in. You're going to grow up to be a little cheeky girl and really playful too.

You've also developed eczema and it was a bad flare up. Thank God for bringing right people to our path and it's under control now with occasional slight flare up. I pray that you'd be completely healed soon.

I love the way you look at us, I love your smiles, your blabbers, your expressiveness. I love it to start the day with your blabbering as our alarm clock (though we'd love you sleeping in more haha). I love you and I thank God all the time to have blessed me with you.

Love Mommy

Singapore here we come!

In less than 2 sleeps, in fact 48 hrs from now, we'll probably be having teochew muay for supper! Can't wait! Janice will be getting lots of cuddles from her grandparents (which means baby sitting for us, hiak hiak - evil grin :)

Really, since having a baby, I've been missing home so much! It's so great to know that you've got family literally a phone call away, and that Janice is able to be spending her weekends with her grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunties.

I am just bursting with excitment when I am checking in online, it's like ... it's real, it's happening! But on a side note, they actually gave Kel and I separate seats and I will be sitting alone with Janice! I thought I was checking in early but the flight is almost full! man, so kiasu. I'll need to be calling the airline, hopefully we can sit together so that we can share the "embarassment" together when Janice cries loudly. Pray for a good flight!

Our First Family Getaway

Haha, I know I am super duper over due. I was meant to post something about our first family getaway. We did a weekend getaway (Friday to Sunday Morning) the weekend before Christmas. We started the journey by heading to Harbortown for some shopping and lunch before continuing on to Kingscliff. It's about 1.5 hrs from Brisbane and we crossed the border into New South Wales. We love the resort and the area! It was actually a little getaway we were meant to have before Janice was born. But Kelvin came down with Influenza then and we couldn't postpone to any weekends before I gave birth. So I pushed the booking to the latest date possible and it was a great adventure to travel with our little one. Verdict was that we totally enjoyed the time with her. Though we didnt really do much, met up with Fab and Jos on Saturday. We walked to the nice beach once, we had 2 nice dinners in a row, watched in house movie (for free!) in the hotel room... I slept through most movies though (as usual). there was lots of talking, lots of cuddling (with each other and with Janice too). It was totally refreshing especially since the first few weeks with a new addition for us has been pretty much crazy. Janice loves being out. She behaved herself most of the time and slept well too. I think she loves having the attention from both of us instead of just facing me all day long. She sleeps well being out, much better than being home. It was good havin this trip because it gave us a lot more confidence to bring her out, so we're looking forward to the trip back to Singapore in ... woohoo 2 days time!

2 Months

Enjoying the Christmas Pressie from Dadddeeee :)

Janice Mok Yu En

Age: 2 Months

Weight: 5.8kg with clothes on

Spending time with Annabel

Little Darling,

You've turned 2 Months (8 weeks and 5 days) today. Though it's only been 2 months, I feel that it's been way longer. Yet at the same time, it feels almost like yesterday that I've found out that I was pregnant with you. We're still discovering and knowing each other and I sure hope you enjoy daddy and mommy's company as much as we're enjoying yours. In many ways, I still feel like I am groping around trying to find my way around you and your likes and dislikes. You've developed so much this month that I am so proud to call Popo every day to talk about your progress.

You're generous in bursting into your grins and smiles that absolutely melt hearts. At least it lifts up my spirits each time you do that. And I could almost expect the times of the day when you would smile most. While playing after feeds and also on the change table. We can't thank God enough for helping you sleep longer hours at night now. You've progressed from waking up every 2-3 hours to having a long stretch of sleep from 10-3am. Best of all, you can be put down on your bassinet by 8pm and you would fall asleep on your own. We're incredibly proud of you, but we also know it's really God's grace to us, because we did not have to deliberately "train" or "teach" you to fall asleep on your own, I just prayed so desperately each night I put you down. The day I turned to God with desperation, was the day you just learnt to sleep that way. Though you still act up once in a while, I know it's also God's way to remind me that you are only human and I can't expect you to be the way I want you to be all the time.

Since Popo left, I've learnt not to put housework and chores before you, but rather learn to be sensitve to your needs. I used to be one with checklists of all the task I desire to complete and used to make plans in my head hoping that you would fit into my routines. I got upset each time that it didn't work out. But the Holy Spirit spoke into my heart one day to remind me that you are way more important than tasks and my agenda. I hope you'll always remember that, you are indeed. These days, I enjoy you a lot more and also learnt to make use of windows of opportunities to fit in other household chores. I know each day, God is still stretching my patience and increasing my capacity.

This month, you've also celebrated Jesus's Birthday with a whole bunch of Uncles and Aunties from church. We also celebrated your 2 months by throwing a little party at home. (Pictures will be up soon). We also had our first family little weekend getaway with you. We, especially daddy enjoyed so much the time spent with you, cuddling you all the time. You were also such a gem throughout the trip and daddy and I could even watch some dvds while you were sleeping. I'll post about the trip in another entry, hopefully soon.

You spent today with your little friend, Annabel (Pic above). She's born 4 days ahead of you and I can imagine you 2 to be great buddies in future.

Little one, keep growing in every way and like my prayers with you each morning, let's grow to trust God and grow in Him more together. We're certain of His presence with you each day and I know that somehow your little heart knows it too.

We're amazed how someone so tiny like you could make such an impact on our lives. We're amazed too how someone so tiny like you could bring so much joy too.

Love,

Mommy

Missing Popo

We're definitely missing Popo here.The Cheery little one smiles (and even laughs) the most when Popo talks and sings to her. She is definitely feeling bored with just "me" the whole day :( and definitely she has to be crying more since I've only got one pair of hands, and there will be times I am slower to attend to her needs. I miss my mom heaps for sure. She's more than a mom to me, more like a friend, a companion and my mom who never fails to mother us (sometimes a bit too much! We're too well looked after that I am feeling it now that she has gone back to Singapore). She makes me wonder if I could ever be as good a mom as she is. I cried thinking how I would be like, one day also needing to help Janice out in her confinement! Haha I know I am getting a little far here, but I can't help it. Will I be able to sacrifice as she did? My mom besides helping in looking after Janice, looked up recipes so that she can cook the best confinement food for me, I have soup almost every meal, soup even when I wake up in the middle of the night to feed. She cleaned every inch of the house and even had time to talk to me and made sure I was alright. It's a bit strange after 9 years being independent and living out but I can't help but really enjoy her presence around daily, such a good 3 months together. (except that my poor dad was alone in Singapore without his wife) I look at my daughter and think how my mom managed to build that bond so strong with me and pray that I could give that sort of love I have received and still receiving.

More than blessed ...

I really count myself blessed. More than what I deserve. My mom left 4 days ago, and for the past months she has been around, I have been so well looked after. As of today, I was still eating stuffs that she cooked and prepared, and I only had to cook 1/2 the dinner. Kel, knowing that I will be rather emotional without mom around is trying so hard to support me as much as he can. From taking the evening shifts (like now, so that I can do my stuffs and catch up with some house chores), taking initiative to help out around the house as soon as he gets back from work and even waking up earlier in the morning to go to work so that he can finish earlier to come home. My little darling has also been learning to sleep longer hours at night, and I can really see God's hands upon her life and how He is answering our prayers bit by bit (not always immediately) but at the same time speaking to us, sustaining us.

Now on my own, I am learning to manage the house and look after Janice at the same time. I am still desperately trying to teach Janice how to nap better (without me holding her all the time).

Dreaded M

The dreaded M-Mastitis. People tell me how painful and nasty it is. Verdict is: I totally agree! I am totally desperate, antibiotics, ibuprofen, cabbage leaves .... most importantly, God's healing, bring them on!

Lest I forget ...

Before I forget Janice's little antics, knowing how fast she's going to grow, I'm going to just jot them down:

• Likes to poo and pee when diapers are off (she's shot her pee and poo at me a couple of times which shocked me at first because I thought only boys would do that)
• Like to sleep upright with her head flung backwards (she is almost looking at things upside down); she would yell if we try to put her head back in an upright position. This worries my mom (popo) all the time because she's so afraid that her neck will break.
• She can fall asleep in a burping position, sitting upright on our laps;

Before I forget how tiny she is now:

• Weighs about 4.2 kg
• is about 54cm (hard to measure because of how she'd be squirming)

Janice - 1 month

Psalm 139: 12-14
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Dear Little one,

These verses were the exact words God spoke when we first knew we had you. There was a scare then when the first ultra-sound couldn't "detect" you at all. Doctors gave a few possible reasons and the only way to find out was to wait for subsequent blood tests and a later ultra sound. The first few weeks were filled with anxiety but God assured me (and daddy) with these verses which we trusted and clung on to. 40 weeks came and went, though the pregnancy wasn't 100% smooth sailing, but His hands were definitely upon you, and they still are.

You will be 4 weeks old tomorrow. I still look at you with disbelief at times that you're out and we're parents. Motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever attempted in my life, and I wished so often that you came with a manual. Everyday is a day discovering you and knowing you. You are such a character and daddy and I (we) are amazed at that. You are so persistent and nothing will soothe you until you get what you wanted (most times - your suckle and your feed). You enjoy cuddles (only when you are fed) and right now you are right here, clung on to me like a little koala. In fact, you are sitting in this little thing called hug-a-bub, my life saviour because that is the only way currently you would take your day naps and I could still have my 2 hands free.

You display your likes and dislikes. You love it when Popo talks to you and often you would be breaking into your sweet little smiles. But with bath time and if we were to take your top off and put on a new one, you would scream the roof down. I am sure you are a well known new kid on the block by now. Your poor daddy who would rush home every evening to bath and spend time with you will always emerge from the bathroom totally defeated.

As a 4 week old, you've been through a lot. We brought you to the hospital because you were janudiced, ended up with in and out of hospital for 3 days and discovering you had Urinal tract infection as well. Daddy tried his best so that you didnt have to go through too much poking and also the catheter. But they still had to try all these on you. Brave little one, you've endured through and though it was heart wrenching, we're so proud of you.

Our little darling, you are a constant reminder of God's grace (that's why we named you Janice). And we thank God for bringing you to our lives. With you, our weaknesses and lack are accentuated. He used you every single day to remind us of intimacy and dependency upon Him. And as you mommy, my desperate prayer each day is for God to expand me in my capacity to love and embrace you unconditionally because you deserve it.

Be patient with us, little one. Your daddy and I are still greenies in parenting. We pray that we will get better each day as you communicate more with us and God shed more wisdom and insights to us. And in due time, not only can we speak wisdom to your life but be examples of the hope and love. And our prayers for you is that you will grow up healthy and strong; and to be one who loves God above all and to love people. May you grow to love your family too, especially Popo who sacrificed so much to look after you and all your grandparents who have given us much love and taught us so much.

We love you little one. Like the book we've been reading to you, we love you high, love you low, love you deep, love you wide. We love you this much.

We're so glad to have you.