Blowing Raspberries

It's a trying stage for me. Janice blows her food out all day long. I thought she's been there, done that, and over with that, BUT this phase is back! I end up with a baby with food all over her head, face, clothes ... highchair, floor, my face, table... you get the drfit all with her food. I feel defeated, tired by the end of each meal, especially in the evenings. The mess to clean up, and worried that she doesnt get enough and will keep waking up at night with hunger.

I think she's teething again, i think that was what happened the last time. I hope its a passing phase.

Thank God for a wonderful husband who shove me out of the door for a girly dinner night out with Cheryl and Sharon without the baby. He even attempted for the first time putting her to bed without me having to do my last milk feed. He succeeded, woohoo. I really needed some time out, without needing to feed through a difficult dinner. I even came back to a clean house, nice mopped floors. I am one lucky wife!

Chubbachups

F.E.A.R.

I have many fears in life. From small ones like uncertainties to big ones like geckos and lizards. Oopps I think it's the other way around, I think I may be a little out of perspective! But anyhow, I have many fears, sometimes crippling ones, sometimes I just try to be 'nonchalant' about them. But as I meditate on Proverbs 1 this morning, I asked myself how much I feared GOD above all other fears. A real reverential fear, a fear that brings awe of Him and His plans. I am still grappling how this good this fear is, that on one hand motivates me on to please Him, at the same time draw me close to Him.

Out of Order

Me. I think I am really out of order, meaning lacking some real order in my life. I have been feeling tired and rather ineffective lately. Janice's sleep has been a little all over and she has been sticky and whiny. It's not really anything new, there has been good and not so good days throughout the past 9 months. I think the problem lies with me. When she wakes up in the early morning, I feed her and make her try to sleep in more with me. Most days, it's been really hard trying to get her back to sleep resulting in us both feeling grouchy. I will reluctantly drag myself and her out of bed and start changing her and I pop into the shower while she sits in the bumbo seat in the bathroom, playing and waiting for me to done. I think she has also reached the stage of separation anxiety, so I cannot be out of her sight. So after the shower, I'll have to put her in her play area while I get our breakfasts, lunches and the stuffs for the day ready; in the meantime she will be really upset that I am not with her and starts to fuss. There's a routine and not really a routine set if you know what I mean. Mon, Wed and Fri, she'll be going childcare while I head off for work. Tues' our day together, Thurs I bring her into office with me for half a day; Sat's our family day and Sun is full day of Church almost. Every other day is different, so I play by ear, knowing she will show me signs of tiredness and nap every 4 hourly thereabouts. I gave up tracking her schedules for a while. Everyday, I tried to make her sleep in (in hope that both of us will get more rest) some days it works, some days it doesn't; so there's not really that much set time for her naps. But because Janice can wake up anytime between 5-7am, I have struggling really hard to get some proper routines in place. All in all, I need to set my foot down to set up some regular patterns for Janice and myself. Babies thrive in routines and I think I do too! I just need some discipline, and hopefully, I will be more energized and be able to give her the proper attention she needs especially through this phase where she has become so attached to me.

I also need to be more constructive in the nights. Ministry stuffs often flies over me, I think about my incomplete work I left in the office, I groan over the never ending laundry and the preparation of food; cleaning of house. Household admin also piles up. I slump into bed every night feeling unaccomplished and just hope and pray that I get to sleep through the night. This Fast and Pray week, I hope to really have a breakthrough in my spirit, for God to increase that purpose in His plans. I pray for a clear mind and to grow beyond a mummy fried brain J I am still getting used to having almost all personal space invaded and most times having so room to space out and think. But despite all these, God will grant me the strength and capacity.

Thank You....

For all the Birthday messages left on sms, facebook, blogs and emails ..... I couldn't reply them all because I've been too stuffed with good food and great company. Thank You, I just want all of you to know how great it felt to be remembered, and how fantastic it is to really Thank God for the friends and family He has blessed me with.

Spending time with family

Something so precious

Happy Birthday Darling!

To my dearest darling,



Birthdays marks the edge of yet another mountain. But the youth in your heart is certain.


May the year ahead be more exciting, less conventional and filled with faith!



love you lots!



Happy Birthday!

Passion vs Commitment

Yesterday at Ablaze conference 2009, we made it there in time to listen to Ps Ben of Lifeplace shared at the workshop. Having travelled all the way to Yandina just for that session, I felt it was so worthwhile! Ablaze conference rocks!!! God bless you guys at Ablaze even more over today and tomorrow morning.

During the workshop, we had a Q&A time where someone asked the question "What happens when I no longer have the passion to serve God"? When I heard Ps Ben's reply to that, I was so encouraged. He said along the lines of - serving God something Christians should be doing. It is not dependent on your feelings or passion. If that's how we walk in our Christian life, then there will always be lots of ups and downs, which makes our relationship and walk with God very unstable. If I had to choose, I'll choose commitment over passion.

That was so true and something that I had close to myself. Times when I feel so down and out, but still on the roster it says KM on worship leading. I would be dragging my feet to practise and all. But without fail, on Sunday pre-service practise will always sound like the worst session ever and it just gets worst. But when service starts, the time of Praise and Worship is handed over to God, I can just feel God ministering to myself as I lead. It is such a privilege and honor to serve God.

So when time comes where passion is all lost, remind yourself that as Jesus had to drag himself to carry the cross to Calvary, we too sometimes just have to pick up our cross and follow Christ no matter what!

Press on my fellow Christians!!!! Passion will come when we serve God wholeheartedly even when it is doing the lowest of tasks!

I got laughed at by my daughter!

Janice was sitting on my lap facing me when she sort of lifted up my T-shirt, revealing an "overhanging" tummy. She started pinching it, poking it and started chuckling!!!??!!!!
Hey, I looked at her, the reason of this tummy is because of ??!!!?Man, being a mom, its tough.

When I see you smile

Heard this song on my way to work, it just reminded me that no matter how tough life is, there is always 2 people waiting at home for me, to smile at me. And those 2 smiles can take all the tiredness away. Miss you both already!

Sometimes I wonder

How I'd ever make it through

Through this world without having you

I just wouldn't have a clue

Cause sometimes it seems like this world's closing in on me

And there's no way of breaking free

Then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up

Wanna give in

Wanna quit the fight

Then one look at you baby

Can make everything alright, make everything alright

When I see you smile

I can face the world

Oh you know that I can do anything (i can do anything)

When I see you smile

I see a ray of light

Oh I see it shining right through the rain (shining right through the rain)

When I see you smile

Baby when I see you smile at me

And baby there's nothing in this world that could ever do

What the touch of your hand can do

It's like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling I don't feel it

Cause you're here with me

And one look at you babyIt's all that I ever need

All that I ever need

When I see you smile I can face the world

Oh you know that I can do anything (i can do anything)

When I see you smile

I see a ray of light

Oh I see it shining right through the rain (shining right through the rain)

When I see you smile baby

Baby when I see you smile at me

And when the rain is falling I don't feel it

Cause you're here with me

And one look at you babyIt's all that I ever need

All that I ever need

When I see you smile I can face the world

Oh you know that I can do anything (i can do anything)

When I see you smile I see a ray of light

Oh I see it shining right through the rain (shining right through the rain)

When I see you smile I can face the world

Oh you know that I can do anything

When i see you smile

Baby when i see you smile at me

When i see you smile(baby when i see you smile)

When i see you smile(at me)