The sleep regression.

I am just needing a place to rant about this. Maybe after a couple of minutes of ranting I will feel much better and my sleep depravity will be compensated a little. I hope.

There's a real regression taking place now. I remember very vaguely (our wonderful memory is pretty much selective) the early days when Janice was born. The sleepless nights, the insecurity of not knowing if tonight is the "night" when there will be endless feeding (and worshipping God in desperation). God was good, that period of time came and passed pretty quickly on hind sight. It always feels this way, when you're at it, it's eternity. But really, I think we would consider ourselves pretty fortunate parents because Janice learnt to fall asleep on her own at 7pm and will sleep through about 6 hours straight since she was 2 months old. God knew how much we could take, so there was even minimal sleep training involved, it just happened.

Sleep is a precious commodity which we still try as much as we can to guard it, and make sure it happens for both the baby and us. So we have simple routines, that as she grew older, which increasing understanding and mobility, been more flexible than when she was a wailing baby. Janice is good, as long as she is occupied, even if she was tired, she doesn't get too cranky in the evening and eventually when she was tired she would just sleep, no fuss or much of the so called over stimulation.

For the past few months since we came back, she has been happy going to bed when she's tired, only thing is that bedtime has been "post-poned" every night to about 10pm (+/-). That's also because of work and traveling, so by the time we get back home every night, it's about 9pm. Things have still worked out well because Janice would still be able to sleep well at night, only thing is that we have allowed her the freedom to sleep on the mattress, not the cot.

So what's the problem with that? It's dusty and hard to clean the room. And I have also become the bolster at night if she were to wake up in the middle of the night. I've sort of let it pass for that, since, she has been really easy if she wakes up at night, all I have to do is to sleep on the mattress next to hers, and she has some parts of her body touching mine, we both get our beauty sleep for the rest of the night. But with both issues combined up, I decided finally to put my feet down and set up the cleaned up dusty cot, painstakingly shipped back from Brisbane. This time round, instead of putting up all four sides of the cot, we removed 2 sides, so it's more like a bed and put up a bed guard to prevent the rolling girl from falling off the bed.

Sounds like not a big deal, but to a little girl, changing sleeping arrangements is a big deal. So she has been asking me to climb into cot with her in the middle of the night and crying out every few minutes, or stirring and sitting up every few minutes through the rest of the night, after sleeping well for about 4 hours. That's not good news for me, because I don't sleep at the same time as her, and when she starts her crying, I will be about 30mins into my deep sleep, and I will be an owl for the next 5 hours. Super taxing, and I am now officially sleep deprived again after 3 nights of struggle.

So if you're reading this, maybe you're thinking, I should have stuck on to the cot thing since a long time ago, and never have allowed the habit of going in to sleep with her to set in. haha, you may have the permission to laugh at me for a few seconds, but after that, my appeal is, pray for Janice that she will settle in.

Thank you :) I feel better now.

God is healing Janice from her milk allergies

God is awesome and worthy to be praised! After praying for a long time for Janice's allergies to be gone, God has finally answered our prayers!

On 23rd Nov 2009, Janice took her skin prick test to check for allergic reactions from certain substances. The test results were as such:

Substance Diameter

Control Histamine = 5mm

Milk = 5mm

Egg = 15mm

Peanut = 7mm

These results showed that Janice had significant reactions to milk, peanuts and eggs. The larger the diameter, the more serious the allergy.

Since we have relocated back to Singapore we were still praying hard that God would heal her of her allergies. Her condition had certain implications such as being selective when preparing meals for her, being careful of what we feel her and what others 'unknowingly' feed her, what she can consume at Child Care and also her specially prescribed milk 'Neocate' which would cost us $70 per can here in Singapore.

As we prayed, we wanted to also believe that God's healing hand is at work. Thus Yen made an appointment with the allergist at NUH whom was a doctor referred to us from our allergist in Gold Coast. When we were at NUH, the doctor saw the report of Janice's last skin prick test said that there is no point in taking another test as such conditions don't 'change overnight'. After hearing that, we were quite insistent on having the test, cause we know full well that God is able to heal.

When the test results came out, Janice's skin reaction towards milk was almost non existent!!! The diameter for milk was smaller than the control histamine! This must be GOD! So the Doctor advised us to slowly expose Janice to normal baby milk and see if there is any allergic reaction. We took the Doc's advice and start by putting some milk on her lips. To date, Janice has been feeling great. she even drank 60ml of normal baby milk!! PRAISE THE LORD!!

The little 17 Months' babe

Dear Janice,

You're 17 months today and you're so girly that you're more like a little girl than a toddler. I remembered secretly being very happy to have a little girl as my first born, I thought about how I will dress you up and do girly things with you. Look at you, your love for shoes, accessories and anything that's pretty. I hope that you will think of me next time as your cool shopping partner (daddy will say partners in crime) just like how I love shopping with Popo.

I remembered 17 months ago, I was really struggling through motherhood. Each day was just for surviving, how to get us through the day and flash daddy a big smile when he comes back. Many times, he will receive a scowl from mummy and he will then take you down for a walk so that I can get myself together again. But as you grow, I realised that each day has gotten less intense and more enjoyable.

This month, you've transited into taking one long 2 over hr nap a day. You generally sleep quite well at night although there are times when you still want to cuddle mummy's arm to sleep. You're funny, you just need to hold my fingers and you'll be contented. You've also learnt to recognise actions and characters in books, so reading is so fun nowadays because you'll know what's coming up and start the actions or say what it is. You also have your favourites that you'd want us to read over and over again.

There are still times when you're quite reserved when you're out. When placed you at home or at Popo's place, you'll be filling us with your cheeky things and make us laugh. Giggles and laughters from you are also not uncommon. I used to lug you out a lot when you were younger, but now staying around home with you is so fun and I have to sometimes kick my laziness away and do more fun activities with you like drawing and painting, which we haven't done for a while. Usually you're quite independent when you play and can engage in puzzles, cooking and moving items from one location to the other and back. You do these a lot.

I think Mummy and daddy must have passed you some good genes. Haha that's our love for food genes. You have great appetite and on most days your bowl of rice is as much as almost 1 full rice bowl. Not counting the big bowl of green veggies that we have to hide from you. I remembered eating a lot of spinach when I was pregnant with you and now you eat it as if it was snack. Very good, keep it up ok. Veggies are good for you. and on top of that you still drink a bowl of soup after that. You're putting on weight quite slowly so I am wondering if all the nutrients have gone to your hair. But on the other hand, at 10.8kg, my arms are aching already, I can't imagine you any bigger. Now mummy just looks like I do weights training because the thickness of my arms and the Biceps are getting a little too obvious.

You're growing up so fast, and there's almost too little time to spend with you. I can sit back at the end of the day reminiscing on a lot, but most times I am flat out and doze off too quickly. But if I could, I would want to capture more of you, this journey and our family in my reflections and deep thanksgiving. God is just so good.

Happy 17 months! You're turning 1/1/2 in a month's time. Look in the mirror and may you always find joy and the reflection of Jesus!

Love, Mummy

The little grown up girl

Oh, I also need to write this down before I start to forget.

Janice has been such a cutie lately. It feels like overnight that she has transformed from a little baby to a total little girl. Where has all the time gone to? She is so into her make belief. She's been cooking, scooping, feeding herself, us ... she pretends to eat, make us to that and even says "more" as she pretends to eat out of an empty bowl. She reaches for the plastic knife and pretends to cut her cookie before eating and make us drink her imaginary soup, in which she will pretend to "ssssh" as if it was really hot. I wonder where her foodie genes come from?

She is growing up, and I can't believe that I spent an hour playing "masak masak" with her. She was even happy doing it herself when Kel and I were hustling around doing our own stuffs for the afternoon.

She's even been fixing up puzzles by herself and recognising shapes. Felt like yesterday that she was a little baby.

Home Sweet Home

Janice was extremely pleased with the kitchen that daddy fixed up :)

Staying in the furthest western point of Singapore means that we are hardly home. Coming home is usually the very last destination we have and once back, we would hardly head out unless a need calls. As a result, we're never home much of recent. Since we both started work, week-days have been burnt comuting to and fro home, work, my mom's place. With the weekends, we're usually out or at Church. and most times, we're only home on Sunday evening. Yesterday was an exception and I felt so good about it that it deserves a blog entry.

After Church and cell, Kel and I headed to Jelita where Janice slept for 1.5 hours on the pram. It was such a God given time where Kel and I had a nice quiet sandwich at the cafe, watching the outside pour in rain. We hung out at the bookshop for a while till Janice awoke. We then headed towards a friend's place only to be informed that the gathering was cancelled. So we ended up home by mid afternoon, armed with a very happy and contented toddler. We were supposed sit down and catch something on DVD. But you see, I am always filled with bright ideas on the house, and before I knew it, I cleverly lured Kel to start fixing up the cardboard kitchen he have been wanting to build for Janice, set up the little table and chair and revamped the hall a little. I sorted out Janice's toys, books and packed them neatly in categories ready for toy rotation to take place (I like to keep some toys and rotate so that toys will look fresh and not all over the place). I cooked for Janice and the house was thoroughly cleaned thereafter. It was such a good feeling that after all that hard work, I was beaming. It was home sweet home, because I feel so so recharged being home for that half a day than I ever been for eons. Result of that? I am so looking forward to go home and see a nicely organised place :) * pictures of the cardboard kitchen can be found on FB. Well done too my dear husband, and thank you for giving in to your ever itchy backside wife who can never sit still :)

Janice is 16 months (+)

My little munchkin, You're really less of a baby and more like a little girl now. You're expressive, full of cheeky things, and very playful. You often tickle us with your chuckles, your little dances, and playful acts. You warm us with your smiles, cuddles and kisses. My life have been tipped upside down since you came into my life 25 months (including pregnancy) ago. I remembered how elated i was on 17th Feb 08, the day I found out that we were expecting you. Since then it has been a big roller coaster ride for daddy and myself. We had our highs, how lows and excitments, but all in all, we're glad that you're in the picture. Though we're not money rich, we know we're rich because of the experiences we have with you and in God too.
You're a really expressive little girl. Very authoritative I must say :) Though you're limited in your speech, you somehow managed to direct people to sit where they should, what you want to eat/drink and what you want others to do for you. You're into this mode of making sure daddy drinks enough water and choosing who gets to sit next to you. You communicate mostly to us with single words or part of a word (e.g. Ter for water) and many many sign lanuguages which were mostly derived by you. Lately you would point to something you want to eat and put your finger into your mouth, sort of dangling out to tell us how badly you want to it that. Where did you learn that, I don't know.
I love it because there's always that sparkle in your eyes. You're curious and always seeking to try out something new. You've to put on earrings, clip your hair, put on make up, basically everything you observe me doing. Oh God, please give me wisdom so that I'd have a life worthy to be modelled by you.
Your sweetness melts our hearts everyday. You'd freely cuddle and kiss anyone who has been playing with you. Many of the relatives and mummy's friends have been blessed this CNY with your cuddles and kisses. Thank you for loving us everyday, and for making parenting so rewarding.
You're strong willed and many times very independent. It's been a learning curve for me teaching you and being firm with you when you demand something, especially things that is "way off". Many times, I need to be disciplined myself not to be a jelly fish parent but one who knows when to give and when to refrain. It's not easy sometimes to have a firm stance, and being able to separate anger and frustration from it.
God reminded me today to learn to really pray for you, something that I often forget to do. I used to but of recent, I've found myself just trying to keep up with things. I thank God for this timely reminder because besides praying with you daily, I need to commit your life to God because ultimately He is your creator and the best Father ever. He gives you wisdom and brings maturity. He protects and love, more than daddy or mummy ever can.
I hope to be able to teach you more constructively this month and I am looking forward to you starting Childcare too because of its structured programs offered. I pray that you'll enjoy yourself because I know you thrive being engaged in activities and playing with others.
I put up this picture to remind you how blessed you are to be surrounded by so many people who loves us. Coming back to Singapore has been one of the best decision and we are really thanking God for this season He has brought us. This picture speaks of how much you love your cousins especially, Grace. You've been so loved because Grace would often stand up for you, she will offer you her toys, she just adores you.
May you continue to grow and thrive. May you continue to experience God's love through us, and people around you. May you learn to love God and people around you too.
We love you precious, I am biased I know, but you're the sweetest thing ever :) - (oh daddy's very sweet too... hee...)
Love, Mummy

Interupted

My work got "interupted" by a very happy email. The husband sent me an email (with this picture attached) from the park (wonders of i-phone). He brought Janice there since it was his off day. They're having their father-daughter dates almost weekly, it was awww so sweet that I am half melted in the freezing air con :)

What I took back from today's Staff Devotion

Today at staff devotion, we had a guest speaker come and share with us as our Division leaders went away for a retreat. Just wanted to note it down so that I won't forget. He was sharing about his difficulties in ministry with the youths and how it is so challenging, not so much the youths but many times, their parents can really be a pain as well.

Amongst his sharing, he mentioned how a parent got upset with him cause he had to tell their child to step down from ministry cause his relationship with God wasn't going well and it was starting to reflect outwardly in his ministry. And he went to still apologize to the parent. He told us "I apologized not because I did something wrong to her son, but I apologized because I hurt them."

When I heard that, it really touched my heart to know that we don't apologize because of the action that we did, but instead for the reaction that was caused by the initial action (which might not be wrong in the first place). This was something that I want to hold onto in every area of my life; my relationship with God, my family, my friends and my ministry.

Compliments from Aunty Jos

I think I've got a secret admirer who used my photos and made it into something pretty :)

Took a long break from blogging, took up Facebooking instead

Been missing in action because I realized that FaceBook is much easier to use since there is the Iphone which makes uploading of photos a breeze. But I guess unless you are added as friends on Facebook, otherwise viewing of content would not be possible. So I thought I better try to blog once in a while, so here goes.

I had the privilege yesterday to spend the entire day with Janice. Woke up with her, had meals with her, had a really long nap (2hrs) with her and bathe her as well. it was such a memorable day for me. On the normal days I love to play with Janice and all, but looking into the details of her life like naps and meals and bathing really isn't my forte. Only my close to perfect wife would be able to remember every single detail that needs to be done for Janice. But now, since both of us are working and my day off is on wednesday, I was able to have this opportunity to look after Janice by myself.

To have this time with Janice would be the start of our 'dates with daddy' times. I must really make it a point to do this regularly even when she grows up. I realized that a father's role in a child's life is so important. Not belittling the roles that mums play (which is very important as well), the dads would sometimes help be a good role model of the sort of man that our daughters would be looking for in future. Helping my daughter see that she deserves a man that truly loves her for who she is. And more importantly that Janice would come to me and tell me about the guys that would be asking her out and stuff. I want to be her listening ear and support whenever she needs me.

These are my ideals, I know that ministry sometimes would make all that sound impossible. But today it has been made known to me that in full time ministry, we are juggling my balls, but there are some balls that we must never drop and that is God and our Family. Ps Benny Ho mentioned about spending 1 hr a day, 2 to 3 hrs a week, 1 day a month and 2 to 3 days a quarter to spend with God. Time allocated with family is also very crucial, my family must know that they are more important to me than the ministries I am in. This is something that I am constantly learning and adjusting so that there would be a balance; but boy is that balance hard to find. I don't know if I will ever find that balance, but I know for sure that I will keep trying.