A few entries ago, I mentioned about learning to appreciate more of His beauty. The verses of this worship song we sang over Sunday etched within my heart since then.
Beholding your beauty is all I long for
To worship You Jesus is my soul's desire
For this very heart you've shaped for your pleasure
The purpose to lift your name high
Hear and surrender in pure adoration
I enter your courts with an offering of praise
I am Your servant come to bring you glory
As is fit for the work of your hands
The spirit now living and dwelling within me
Keep my eyes fixed ever upon Jesus' face
Let not the things of this world ever sway me
I'll run 'till I finish the race
I know as I worshipped with this song, the Holy Spirit spoke right into my heart. He spoke to the fears I had, fears of falling, fears of lacking behind because of the transitions in life, fears of being unfaithful to Him and focusing more on the cares of the world. Being home instead of being at the advance over the weekend actually shook me. I felt uneasy that I could be up on the mountain top with the rest of the people experiencing Him and moving together. I realise that the pace of ministry is fast and just being away from people for the weekend made me feel distant. Before Him, I felt the vulnearability of my weaknesses because I knew I could walk away and succumb fully to circumstances. Holy Spirit however spoke commitment, assurance and affirmation. He knows my heart, despite the debris that I often presented, He searched me and mirrored each word I sang as my commitment to Him. I know that's enough, enough to lift my head to and say that God, I will fix my eyes and run the race at the pace you lead me in, not measured by how much or how fast, but instead my everything, in accordance to your leading.