Janice turns 1 - Happy Birthday darling!

My little birthday card to you (Janice Mok Yu En)

I love you Janice, I still remember the day that I held you in my hands at 920am on the 30th of Oct 2008. Mummy might have won by staying closest to you since you were conceived, but I won by being the first to hold on to you! :)

But still all thanks to mummy and her endurance as it was really tough trying to get you to come into this world. Daddy was told that time would past faster if he records the intervals between mummy's each contractions, but after awhile, daddy's little note book was full! Mummy was going through such consistent contractions and for such a long time. Mummy went through so much for you. All daddy could do was say Oh...Ouch each time mummy squeezes daddy's hand.

All was great on that Thursday morning when we finally got to see you, and I believe I speak for mummy as well, it was all worth it, YOU are all worth it!

I can't finish saying how much you mean to me and that you have really brought so much joy and meaning to my life. I would be going to sleep every night knowing that the next day would be filled with so much joy and laughter and also the energy required to play and entertain you. :)

It has been a great year trying to know you more. Communication at the point in time still seems a little unclear and based upon a lot of assumptions. But the times when you say 'Daddy' 'Daddy' is all the communication I need to wake me up every morning to cuddle you.

I hope you have enjoyed your 1st year as much as I did, well if you didn't you most probably won't remember it anyway :)

I love you darling!!! HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY!!!

Not Alone

I felt really odd driving out to meet a bunch of girlfriends for dinner to celebrate Lil's birthday. I felt even more odd as I got back into the car to drive home. It's been a year (or more?) since I drove out myself at night, without Janice, without Kelvin. I read a lot lately about "me" time and since Janice was born, it's practically non-existent. Tonight was one rare night. Though I felt the sudden "liberty" to be out, meeting up with people, no agenda. Bed-time, meal, etc all taken care of by the loving daddy, yet the weird feeling of wanting to be home at the same time, missing the baby smell on her head.

On the eve of Janice's first, I had the time and space to think and reflect. Just a short 20 mins, but the amount of space was amazing. I wondered about my identity and how the role of motherhood has taken over my life, like some massive invasion. Physically, I am never alone, because Janice is with me, almost 24/7. I felt strangely lost without her presence but at that point I was just anchored by simply the presence of God that is with me, reminding me of my true identity.

Lots of other thoughts came in, that reminded me how grounded I am with Jesus in me and a husband who loves me. And of course this little girl who cracks me up (both in tears and laughters) all the time. I am starting to understand a wee bit of what it is to learn to live in the present. I am glad, I am not alone.

Happy Birthday you chimmy chummy baby, I love you to bits (1st year entry for you will come soon). And to the best hubby, you've made a great mark as a daddy. And I am just so glad she's calling out for you all the time, her "daddddeeeee" melts my heart too.

Jotting them down before I forget

I thought I better jot these down before I forget and will be hoping for some peace when Janice's blabbering too much?

Speech Vocabulary

Daddy (daddy's very happy), Mama, more (as in more food) , Ta (aussie way of saying thank you), Tharnk Yu, duck

Act upon instructions

Head, toes, Flying kiss, kiss, cuddle, Stomp your feet, clap, wash your hands, open the window (of the little playhouse), Hi, bye (waving of hands), yes (by nodding your head and flapping the arms at the same time), no (shaking the head) uh oh/oh no (by covering her mouth) twinkle twinkle, head and shoulders song, eetsy bitsy spider....

Can also nod her head when simple questions are asked (mostly pertaining food) and ignore when it's a "no" or "not very interested". Understands what most common objects like ball, milk, duck, cups ...

I think that's all I can remember for now, anyone wants to employ her as an interpreter?

On a plain jane day

Most times, the blog is filled with pictures of our little adventures here and there. Here, I reveal the how a plain jane day goes. When I say that it's a plain jane day, it's a plain day, no big hoo ha, no big disasters (yet). In fact, I love such days, no frills, relaxing, fun (yes it is). On such days, my life is filled with pockets of slots. Nap time, play time, meal time. And in between will be slotted with cooking, laundry, cleaning up, shower, and on a good day, email, surfing the net and blog stalking. Every pocket of time needs to be very intentional, like once she's down for a nap, I zoom in and out of the bathroom, get some laundry/cooking done etc. Very boring cycle but when it's boring means it's routined and we both thrive on that.

So here's a little snippet, of a good day where I can still put in an entry, and with her smiling at the background taking her afternoon tea.

She's really into nodding her head and communicating with us now. Nodding when we ask her questions, pointing to what she wants. She's also grown overnight. She has been spatting out her mushy food and it's been so trying to feed her properly without having food everywhere but her mouth. Then all of the sudden bingo, she wanted normal textured food, like rice with soup and bits of food that she can feed herself with.

To break some myth here, SAHM is not boring, though there are heaps of time when the desperate need for some "me" time overtakes and you feel like walking out.

Janice @ 11months

My little girl,

You'll be turning 1 in 28 days time. I don't think you know that! but mommy and daddy are so excited about it, this 1 year of parenting has taught us so much, nothing within the boundaries of classrooms could ever have done. Thank you for this journey.

You've kept mummy really busy this month. I've resigned so that I could look after you more and I haven't regretted my decision. You've grown so much and I am just so glad I could be doing it with you. Your funny antics like choosing your biscuits, pointing to random things and replying me random stuffs throughout the day crack me up all the time.

You're also a very independent player and could be engaged by some of your stacking toys long periods of time. You've also amazed daddy and I by how much you understand some of our instructions. Just the other day, I told you to pack your toys back into the toy box and you actually did it. So I suspect you understand more than what I know you do, just that you have selective response sometimes, well we all do, you know, selective hearing? Make sure that we all learn not to be selective when we respond to God's word.

One thing too, not that it's something new to me, is that you have a really strong character. Thus on some days, I am totally restraining myself from shouting at you. Sorry that I did sometimes. In those situations, God really reminded me of His grace, at the same time the need to learn to teach and discipline you in gentle ways. We bought the Dr James Dobson DVD on parenting, so pray that God will reallly speak into daddy and my life and teach us ways that we can teach you well. We're really more than amateurs here, so bear with us, for the rest of your life :) We'll get there.

Thank you for being a little affectionate kid. You've showered me with more cuddles and kisses everyday than I deserve, your unconditional desire to have me by your side reminds me to be the same towards our heavenly father. Nothing could distract you from knowing my presence and desiring me to pick you up for a cuddle, not even your favorite toys. You could be totally engrossed in your little games with daddy, or your toys, but once I walk past, you've never failed to flash me your smiles and raising up your arms, awaiting a cuddle from me.

I love you to bits, you've brought so much more joy and depths to our lives and to our marriage and to our relationship with God too.

Love,

Mummy.

p.s. I've uploaded photos of Janice into facebook. drop me an email if you're not our FB and would like to be our "friend" :)