Janice - 1 month

Psalm 139: 12-14
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Dear Little one,

These verses were the exact words God spoke when we first knew we had you. There was a scare then when the first ultra-sound couldn't "detect" you at all. Doctors gave a few possible reasons and the only way to find out was to wait for subsequent blood tests and a later ultra sound. The first few weeks were filled with anxiety but God assured me (and daddy) with these verses which we trusted and clung on to. 40 weeks came and went, though the pregnancy wasn't 100% smooth sailing, but His hands were definitely upon you, and they still are.

You will be 4 weeks old tomorrow. I still look at you with disbelief at times that you're out and we're parents. Motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever attempted in my life, and I wished so often that you came with a manual. Everyday is a day discovering you and knowing you. You are such a character and daddy and I (we) are amazed at that. You are so persistent and nothing will soothe you until you get what you wanted (most times - your suckle and your feed). You enjoy cuddles (only when you are fed) and right now you are right here, clung on to me like a little koala. In fact, you are sitting in this little thing called hug-a-bub, my life saviour because that is the only way currently you would take your day naps and I could still have my 2 hands free.

You display your likes and dislikes. You love it when Popo talks to you and often you would be breaking into your sweet little smiles. But with bath time and if we were to take your top off and put on a new one, you would scream the roof down. I am sure you are a well known new kid on the block by now. Your poor daddy who would rush home every evening to bath and spend time with you will always emerge from the bathroom totally defeated.

As a 4 week old, you've been through a lot. We brought you to the hospital because you were janudiced, ended up with in and out of hospital for 3 days and discovering you had Urinal tract infection as well. Daddy tried his best so that you didnt have to go through too much poking and also the catheter. But they still had to try all these on you. Brave little one, you've endured through and though it was heart wrenching, we're so proud of you.

Our little darling, you are a constant reminder of God's grace (that's why we named you Janice). And we thank God for bringing you to our lives. With you, our weaknesses and lack are accentuated. He used you every single day to remind us of intimacy and dependency upon Him. And as you mommy, my desperate prayer each day is for God to expand me in my capacity to love and embrace you unconditionally because you deserve it.

Be patient with us, little one. Your daddy and I are still greenies in parenting. We pray that we will get better each day as you communicate more with us and God shed more wisdom and insights to us. And in due time, not only can we speak wisdom to your life but be examples of the hope and love. And our prayers for you is that you will grow up healthy and strong; and to be one who loves God above all and to love people. May you grow to love your family too, especially Popo who sacrificed so much to look after you and all your grandparents who have given us much love and taught us so much.

We love you little one. Like the book we've been reading to you, we love you high, love you low, love you deep, love you wide. We love you this much.

We're so glad to have you.