18 Months

There's barely time to put in any entries nowadays. I'm already blessed having Ma around but even with 2 pairs of hands, we hardly even have time for the loo. I really pray that Janice will learn to nap in the day without having to cry the roof down.

This entry is late by almost a week now. 18 months into our marriage and in this mega adjustment time, neither of us remembered till a day later. Since being up a lot lately, feeding and helping Jan fall asleep, I have got lots of opportunities to pray and to reflect.

To my dearest hub, this entry is for you.

We thought the first few months of our marriage was pretty tough. Adjustments to living with each other, finding our space and you looking for a job then. But I think this month has been the steepest ever learning curve in our relationship.

We've been asking each other how ready we are for this new addition even before she was formed in my womb. With apprehension, we trusted God for His provision and even through some minor hiccups here and there in pregnancy. Though the labour was long, but 30th Oct 2008, marked a day that truely, truely our lives are never the same. As Ma would have put it, this product of love is our responsibility, for life. I cried when you first placed Jan on me in the operation theatre, I am assured that She is the gracious gift from God. She's ours! (she belongs to God too, Praise God!)

A gift who not only brought us indescribable joy but more so His favourite grinding and moulding of our lives. She brought out our ugliest weaknesses, impatience, anxiety, worry. She made me realise how our relationship with each other is really not just binded by love and intimacy but by commitment to God and to each other. She made me realise how I have often put myself and my emotions above so many areas, forcing us to focus on the minor details, overlooking you, robbing away my focus in God. She has helped me let go and trust in God so much more.

I am glad that you are the one I am growing up (and old!) with. I can't imagine walking this through with anyone else. **Eventhough we've probably snapped at each other because of tiredness and frustration (sorry!!!)

I am sure you have been through your fair share of struggles these past 3 weeks and even hardly having the time to really put things into perspective; Lack of sleep, cryings, never ending list of to dos, ministry and work ... hang in there for His GRACE is more than sufficient and we can trust that things will eventually work out.

Though we now have less time for one another, this season will bring us closer to each other and to God. I look forward to what is ahead. I love you darling.