Lest I forget ...

Before I forget Janice's little antics, knowing how fast she's going to grow, I'm going to just jot them down:

• Likes to poo and pee when diapers are off (she's shot her pee and poo at me a couple of times which shocked me at first because I thought only boys would do that)
• Like to sleep upright with her head flung backwards (she is almost looking at things upside down); she would yell if we try to put her head back in an upright position. This worries my mom (popo) all the time because she's so afraid that her neck will break.
• She can fall asleep in a burping position, sitting upright on our laps;

Before I forget how tiny she is now:

• Weighs about 4.2 kg
• is about 54cm (hard to measure because of how she'd be squirming)

Janice - 1 month

Psalm 139: 12-14
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Dear Little one,

These verses were the exact words God spoke when we first knew we had you. There was a scare then when the first ultra-sound couldn't "detect" you at all. Doctors gave a few possible reasons and the only way to find out was to wait for subsequent blood tests and a later ultra sound. The first few weeks were filled with anxiety but God assured me (and daddy) with these verses which we trusted and clung on to. 40 weeks came and went, though the pregnancy wasn't 100% smooth sailing, but His hands were definitely upon you, and they still are.

You will be 4 weeks old tomorrow. I still look at you with disbelief at times that you're out and we're parents. Motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever attempted in my life, and I wished so often that you came with a manual. Everyday is a day discovering you and knowing you. You are such a character and daddy and I (we) are amazed at that. You are so persistent and nothing will soothe you until you get what you wanted (most times - your suckle and your feed). You enjoy cuddles (only when you are fed) and right now you are right here, clung on to me like a little koala. In fact, you are sitting in this little thing called hug-a-bub, my life saviour because that is the only way currently you would take your day naps and I could still have my 2 hands free.

You display your likes and dislikes. You love it when Popo talks to you and often you would be breaking into your sweet little smiles. But with bath time and if we were to take your top off and put on a new one, you would scream the roof down. I am sure you are a well known new kid on the block by now. Your poor daddy who would rush home every evening to bath and spend time with you will always emerge from the bathroom totally defeated.

As a 4 week old, you've been through a lot. We brought you to the hospital because you were janudiced, ended up with in and out of hospital for 3 days and discovering you had Urinal tract infection as well. Daddy tried his best so that you didnt have to go through too much poking and also the catheter. But they still had to try all these on you. Brave little one, you've endured through and though it was heart wrenching, we're so proud of you.

Our little darling, you are a constant reminder of God's grace (that's why we named you Janice). And we thank God for bringing you to our lives. With you, our weaknesses and lack are accentuated. He used you every single day to remind us of intimacy and dependency upon Him. And as you mommy, my desperate prayer each day is for God to expand me in my capacity to love and embrace you unconditionally because you deserve it.

Be patient with us, little one. Your daddy and I are still greenies in parenting. We pray that we will get better each day as you communicate more with us and God shed more wisdom and insights to us. And in due time, not only can we speak wisdom to your life but be examples of the hope and love. And our prayers for you is that you will grow up healthy and strong; and to be one who loves God above all and to love people. May you grow to love your family too, especially Popo who sacrificed so much to look after you and all your grandparents who have given us much love and taught us so much.

We love you little one. Like the book we've been reading to you, we love you high, love you low, love you deep, love you wide. We love you this much.

We're so glad to have you.

18 Months

There's barely time to put in any entries nowadays. I'm already blessed having Ma around but even with 2 pairs of hands, we hardly even have time for the loo. I really pray that Janice will learn to nap in the day without having to cry the roof down.

This entry is late by almost a week now. 18 months into our marriage and in this mega adjustment time, neither of us remembered till a day later. Since being up a lot lately, feeding and helping Jan fall asleep, I have got lots of opportunities to pray and to reflect.

To my dearest hub, this entry is for you.

We thought the first few months of our marriage was pretty tough. Adjustments to living with each other, finding our space and you looking for a job then. But I think this month has been the steepest ever learning curve in our relationship.

We've been asking each other how ready we are for this new addition even before she was formed in my womb. With apprehension, we trusted God for His provision and even through some minor hiccups here and there in pregnancy. Though the labour was long, but 30th Oct 2008, marked a day that truely, truely our lives are never the same. As Ma would have put it, this product of love is our responsibility, for life. I cried when you first placed Jan on me in the operation theatre, I am assured that She is the gracious gift from God. She's ours! (she belongs to God too, Praise God!)

A gift who not only brought us indescribable joy but more so His favourite grinding and moulding of our lives. She brought out our ugliest weaknesses, impatience, anxiety, worry. She made me realise how our relationship with each other is really not just binded by love and intimacy but by commitment to God and to each other. She made me realise how I have often put myself and my emotions above so many areas, forcing us to focus on the minor details, overlooking you, robbing away my focus in God. She has helped me let go and trust in God so much more.

I am glad that you are the one I am growing up (and old!) with. I can't imagine walking this through with anyone else. **Eventhough we've probably snapped at each other because of tiredness and frustration (sorry!!!)

I am sure you have been through your fair share of struggles these past 3 weeks and even hardly having the time to really put things into perspective; Lack of sleep, cryings, never ending list of to dos, ministry and work ... hang in there for His GRACE is more than sufficient and we can trust that things will eventually work out.

Though we now have less time for one another, this season will bring us closer to each other and to God. I look forward to what is ahead. I love you darling.

I'm on Flickr

IMG_0665
Originally uploaded by kelvin and chia yen

Hi Uncles and Aunts who reads this. I am on Flickr but Mom only managed to upload some photos and haven't had time to label and put me into proper sets :)
Click on the picture and see more ...

1st Week ...

I'm back! But definitely not the same anymore! Life with a Janice is SOOO different. No words can express the mix of feelings of joy, and pain (both physical and growing pains as parents). I'd still need time to digest all that has been happening to be able to put them into words.

A short debut entry of parenthood 101 for now. All we know now is that parenting is not easy and there are so much we're learning that sometimes it's a little overwhelming. Meanwhile it's a real time for both Kel and myself to really look to Jesus and allow Him to lead us and guide us through. Do pray for us!